You just wish you were more confident. That would fix it all. Then you would be able to stride into the life you imagine for yourself. Other people do it, so why can’t you?
How many times have you stopped yourself taking the next step in your career or business because you don’t quite think you are ready? Or that you are worried about what others with think of you. Maybe life is comfortable for you and you aren’t prepared to risk things changing.
I’m going to let you into a secret. Everyone has confidence issues; even the bravest, most self-assured person you know has a wobble. Be it a sleepiness night before a big presentation, to actively avoiding that responsibility that bring them out in a cold sweat. I would put money on the fact that everyone has their “Achilles heel”.
You can find your “wobble” by finishing the sentence “What if …” The way you finish this sentence will uncover where you self-doubt currently sits. The answer to your “What if” will show your fear which acts as fuel to your self-doubt; to convince you that those beliefs are actually facts, to keep living a predictable life. Fears come from a variety of experiences and can cover:
Fear or failure (what if no one buys from me),
Fear of success (what if I can’t cope with the workload)
Fear of rejection (what if I don’t get the job)
Fear of missing out ( what if I can’t spend time with the family)
First things first, these are all normal. They are in no way a reflection on you or your capabilities. Everyone I know has something they are unsure of: the difference between the dreamers and the doers is now they handle the self-doubt.
Follow my three-step guide to overcoming self-doubt and be more confident.
Understand what is the worst thing that can happen?
Answer this question with your “Catastrophe” hat on. This will help you understand how ridiculous that fear can become in your head.
For ever answer you come up with, lead on with “which means”.
So, for fear of failure, this may read like:
That no one will buy from me which means I won’t have enough income which means I won’t be able to pay my bills which means we won’t be able to feed ourselves which then means we will lose the house.
Next, how will you know when things are going right?
There are very few things in life that are truly out of your control. For most, there are elements that we can control, once we are aware what they are. Don’t hand over the power of your life.
By understanding how you can identify what is success, you can then put measurements in place to keep an eye on things.
If we continue with the fear of failure, which drives self-doubt, the biggest trigger in this is money. That the measurement of success is a certain level of income that is needed to pay personal and business bills. By tracking your “money in, money out and invoices to be paid” you can start to project if there are these financial risks on the horizon.
How will you fix it?
In the world of Project Management (once a PM, always a PM) we are expected to always keep an eye on risks (what may happen) and issues (what is happening). This can be a great way to always manage the fear you have that is driving your self-doubt.
So, back to this pesky fear of failure, which is driven by the doubt to bring in the income you need to cover all your costs.
You will have already created an idea of what you need and how you will manage what is coming into the business and what is being spent, so you can SEE your money situation.
Now you will have an idea of how to step in should income not be at the level you need. A “Plan B” in your back pocket; in PM speak this is “mitigation”.
What could you do if you find that you aren’t bringing in what you need? In the short term, this may be taking a part-time job or a temporary contract. It could be reducing your spend. This is about preventive measures that you can use BEFORE it becomes unmanageable.
This process will feel uncomfortable; the worst case scenario is something that A LOT of people avoid. Maybe are someone that naturally asks themselves “what if” and then plays the worst case scenario around your head like a prediction.
Instead, I want you to consider what are you frightened of happening, what you can do to reduce the risk or avoid it happening altogether, whilst STILL achieving your goal.
Don’t let self-doubt stop you trying – the worst that can happen is never growing or changing. As the well-used saying goes, “Fear the Fear and Do it Anyway”
Join my Facebook group and let me know the first thing you will do to move past your self-doubt today!