Book Review: Untamed by Glennon Doyle

“Untamed, Stop Pleasing, Start Living”* found its way onto my to-read list in a familiar way; via the wonder that is Brene Brown! Glennon Doyle was interviewed on the “Unlocking Us” podcast. I confess I hadn’t heard of her from her previous work, so came to the book with no preconceived ideas of what it would contain. All I could say is that I was drawn in by her passion and reflections on what it means to be caged by expectations. So, I was intrigued by what I would find within the book!

“Part inspiration, part memoir, Untamed explores the joy and peace we discover when we stop striving to meet the expectation of the world, and instead dare to listen to and trust in the voice deep inside us. … For many years, Glennon Doyle denied her own discontent. Then, while speaking at a conference, she looked at a woman across the room and fell instantly in love. Three words flooded her mind: There She Is. At first, Glennon assumed these words came to her from on high. But she soon realized they had come to her from within. This was her own voice–the one she had buried beneath decades of numbing addictions, cultural conditioning, and institutional allegiances. This was the voice of the girl she had been before the world told her who to be. Glennon decided to quit abandoning herself and to instead abandon the world’s expectations of her. She quit being good so she could be free. She quit pleasing and started living.”

Very simply, Doyle asks the question “Who were you before the world told you who to be? “

No topic is off bounds; she reflects on her upbringing, faith, her relationships, sexuality, divorce, mental health, addictions and parenting. She looks at the lens of all these influences and experiences to question and redefine her place in the world. Having established herself as a writer through her Christian faith, I assumed that this book would only engage with those with a similar belief system; however, what we see is her spirituality and philosophy rise beyond a set structure of religion. I can imagine for those that have similar questions, it’s a great place to start reviewing what they have been taught. However, the book goes further than that and considers what we are ALL told about our place in the world, through the lens of our culture, gender and faith (whatever that may be).

I’m going to approach this week’s blog a little differently, as the power of this book is what we each take from it. So, instead of what I have learned, I’m going to share some quotes that really resonated with me, and touch on some of the themes within the book. I won’t be expanding any further than the quote but ask you to consider what it means to you. Sit with the discomfort or reflections it may bring up!

Which messages are our children receiving?

“Our sons and daughters are still being shamed out of their full humanity before they even get dressed in the morning.”

We can’t change without letting go!

“Destruction is essential to construction. If we want to build the new, we must be willing to let the old burn”. 

What is rebellion?

“Rebellion is as much of a cage as obedience is. They both mean living in reaction to someone else’s way instead of forging your own. Freedom is not being for or against an ideal but creating your own existence from scratch.”

Do your roles serve you?

“Ask a woman who she is, she’ll tell you who she loves, who she serves and what she does. Defined by roles. What happens when those roles go? Recommend what do I love? What makes me come alive?”

“Men are caged too .. Be anything but feminine”. Parts that are banished aren’t female traits they are human traits. Cultural and gendered behaviours are sharing beliefs. They have become mandated.”

We need to be comfortable with discomfort, it’s a lesson.

“Do the best until you know better. Then when you know better, do better”. Dr Maya Angelou 

“It is easier to call us broken and dismiss us than to consider that we are responding appropriately to a broken world.”

 

I didn’t expect to finish this book with as many questions as answers, but that is the power of a great personal development book. Glennon Doyle doesn’t claim to have all the answers but has a powerful and poetic way of supporting us to really reflect on the status quo.  Let me know what you thought of Untamed* via Creating Careers to Enjoy (where we discuss each of our monthly books).

If you would like to catch up on the previous reviews, you can read them here. 

*The bookshop is an affiliate link. If you buy, I may get a small commission.