Book Review: A Manual For Being Human by Dr Sophie Mort

There comes a time in everyone’s life when we start to wonder why we are who we are; life transitions are often a reason for this reflection. As my children get older, I find that they are more interested in what life was like when I was their age, which encourages me to ask the same of my family. But, what do we do with the insights this brings, especially if they are within areas we want to change? This was the catalyst for choosing Dr Sophie Mort’s book “A Manual For Being Human”,* for the first title of 2023.

 

First, what do we expect from this book? 

 

“Do you want to believe in yourself and your ability to be content with who you are? If the answer is yes, then A Manual for Being Human is the book you need to read.

  

 Do you want to understand how your childhood affects who you are today? How it affects your relationship with yourself and others? How school, bullying, gender expectations and even the social media you consume each day affects your emotional wellbeing? Do you want to know what your emotions actually are, where they come from and how to manage them when they threaten to overwhelm you?”

 

Dr Sophie Mort is a Clinic Psychologist and has a mission to “take psychology out of the therapy room”. I have no doubt she has done this! Having read similar books in the past (once a psychology student, always a psychology student) including Ruby Wax’s How to Be Human, and Dr Emma Hepburn’s “A Toolkit For Modern Life”, I did wonder if this book was going to bring me anything new. Especially with the promise it would help me understand “what makes us who are, why it matters and practical advice for a happier life”.

It did not disappoint.

 

The opening quote of the book, from another Clinical Psychologist David Smail, helps set the scene for the experience of reading this book; it is not one to just observe and ingest information – it’s one to take part and, at times, find uncomfortable. If you are prepared for that, then you will gain a lot of insight! 

 

“What caused people distress was not so much their own mistakes, inadequacies and illness as the powers and influences that bore down upon them from the world beyond their skin” David Smail

 

It has three easy-to-digest sections (How You Got Here, What’s Keeping You Here and How you can move forward: Your new Toolbox with Go-To Techniques), which feels like you are being gently handheld through a program of impactful self-reflection. Whilst research and information are shared throughout the book, it is done in a way that is not intimidating and allows you to connect to your life experience.

 

Working my way through the book, I felt like I was reading it wearing two of my hats: ME (and reflecting on my life over the past four decades) and that of a parent. Whilst I unpicked my childhood, my attachment style, and the messages I have been given about mental health, gender, relationships and grief, I can also see the benefits of handing this to the younger members of our family. To open conversations so these reflections can occur earlier throughout their development and life transitions.

The final chapter has VERY practical advice, and I found myself using one of the techniques during a tricky parenting moment before the book had been completed. What I found reassuring about this section, was the encouragement to practice these techniques to get comfortable with the process – rather than waiting until a moment of need. I had done this, so when the moment arose, it was easier to find some inner calm and resilience!  

 

As conversations about mental well-being and needs continue to evolve, books like “How to Be Human” will help us understand the circumstances that we have been raised in and the challenges and opportunities they created.

 

So, as is often the case when reading books like this, I won’t be sharing my Top Takeaways. 

Why?

 

So often we are pushed down a course of life based on what others think is correct. A Manual For Being Human makes it clear that we are created and carved from our life experiences, therefore what I think are the top takeaways will be influenced by what has made me who I am. And, we, dear reader, aren’t the same person.

 

So instead, I encourage you to get this book and take the time not only to read it but to complete the exercises that Dr Soph has included throughout the book. Not only will it give you an insight into what it means to be human in the 21st century, but will help you take a step towards creating a happier life!

 

I’d love to know what you think. Have you read “A Manual for Being Human”? Come along to Creating Careers to Enjoy and share your thoughts.

 

If you would like to read some of the previous books I have reviewed, you can find them here. 

 

*This is an affiliate link. If you buy, I may get a small commission.