You know I’m not an advocate of the new year being the ONLY time to create goals, but the end of the year often brings with it a time for self-reflection. There is no doubt that the downtime and lack of routine that the festive season provides, creates the emotional headspace to think about what you want to keep, create and remove from your life. But change is hard, and sometimes it easier just to keep things the way they are, as it takes less time and energy.
If goals setting is a new thing to you and you haven’t gone through this process before, check out this simple way to set goals.
Maybe you are sat reading this over a left-over mince pie or chocolate (OK, kidding, there are no such things as left-over chocolate) and wondering why you haven’t made those changes to your life as of yet. You may be finding that your aspirations are growing into an out of control to-do list; lots of talk but no action!
Rather than beat yourself up or putting things off, I am going to give you a few tips to help you over the behavioural bump in the road.
1. Change IS hard
The human brain adores and thrives on predictability. Knowing what you are doing, how you are doing it, when and with who, helps us feel safe; unpredictability doesn’t! However, if you don’t do things differently, that you will never make a change. Feel comfortable with the discomfort that occurs from change and realise that it makes you human, not weak-willed.
2. Take Control
Work out what you can control change and act; this includes paying attention to what MAY go wrong and what you are scared of. The discomfort from making the change will NEVER be as powerful as the adrenaline rush you feel from DOING and seeing the result. You need to own who you are and have an honest conversation with where you want to change. A personal SWOT is the best way to do this in a guided way.
3. Reject the “should”
Make sure that whatever you are looking to change is something that YOU want to change. Pay attention to the language you are using, projected expectations of others or the internal self-limiting chatter that tells you that you can’t, or you should, or you mustn’t. Often this is linked back to confidence. There is shed loads of support through this on my “confidence category” on my blog. Make sure you keep notes of the progress you are making, surround yourself with the evidence of your action and have someone to hold yourself accountable to.
4. Find role models
It can be easy to think that you can’t make the change if you don’t have anyone around you that you can take the lead from or has walked the path you want to. For me, I find role models in a variety of ways, books, mentors, blogs and the people that I work with! Maybe start with some other Inspiring Parents here. Also, bear in mind, YOU may become someone else’s role model by following your own path!
I’ve seen first-hand the results when people pay attention to these four areas, and ‘big reveal time’, these are the steps that I follow myself when I want to make a change. If you don’t pay attention to any other advice today, pay attention to this. Don’t wait for an arbitrary date in the diary to make a change, start to take control of the changes you want to make and actually MAKE THEM HAPPEN.
Yes, it is hard to make a change, but it’s totally worth it!
If you want to join a supportive group where we work on creating a career to enjoy not endure, then Join The Balance Collective with Clara Wilcox
Looking for a straight-talking and practical coach? Book a call to see how we can work together.