Why you need a “Ta-da” list

It will come as no surprise to you that, right now, many of my clients are frustrated with themselves. They come to me, asking for help to be more productive, to get back on track and to make more progress with their personal and professional life. What may surprise you is my response. That most parents are on fire when it comes to all of the responsibilities they have. So, rather than giving them tips and tricks on how to fit more into their day, I suggest one simple thing as a starting point. To begin a “ta-da” list; once you have read this blog, you will understand why you need a “ta-da” list too.

In my humble opinion, parents are superheroes; they balance a list of duties as long as their arm, putting their heart on their sleeves whilst often putting their own needs at the bottom of their to-do list. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you will know how important it is for our mental wellbeing to build in daily activities that support and build our resilience, so when things really hit the fan, you have the resources in place to bounce back. To work on this, the first step is an exercise in self-awareness, then you need to be able to create and use a useful ta-da list!

A topic that underpins my coaching is the subject of attention, a simple playback loop. Where we put out attention is what we notice; what we notice is where we put our attention. For a moment, sit still and listen. Close your eyes and seek out a noise that is in the distance. It may be voices, the heating ticking over, cars driving down you round or the noise of a TV. Now you have discovered that noise, can you stop listening? I bet the answer is no. Now your attention is tuned in, it’s hard to quieten it down. Now, imagine that the noise is an internal thought. And that thought is “I’m not doing enough”

However intelligent and advanced we think we are, we all have a default setting; we notice what we think. Our brain likes to collect data and evidence that supports what we are thinking about. So, when you wanted to notice a noise, it focused on that. Now imagine it’s the thought of “I’m not doing enough”. Your brain will draw on all the information around it that supports that thought.  Using this knowledge, we can flip this ability on its head and use this bias for good!

Let me explain. The “to-do” list is never-ending. Even if you use some of my balance tips, I imagine you struggle to get everything crossed off. Your attention goes to all things you haven’t done, or the things you THINK you haven’t done as well as you could have. All of a sudden, the progress and achievements you have made during that day, week and month disappear as you berate yourself for your poor time management and lack of discipline. You may even start to wonder if you are cut out for this job, this career.

Something must give.

Does this sound familiar?

The “ta-da” list turns all this around. You redirect your attention, in a positive way, to the things you have achieved that day. You mark down everything you have made progress on, the things you have overcome, the things you have enjoyed, the things that are new, and the things you know you can do again.
Go on, do that right now, grab a pen and paper and make that list.

How does it feel?

Writing out your achievements has been found, time and time again, to be motivational. You can see, firsthand, the things you have done, and you are re-directing your attention to help you think more positively.
If this is a new approach to you, you will not get there overnight. It’s about building a new habit, celebrating what you have achieved, and minimizing the feelings of less-than or failure. Maybe aim to make sure you “ta-da” list is always longer than your “to-do” list at the end of each day!

I’d love to read your “ta-da” list for today. Hop over to Creating Careers to Enjoy and share with over 500 parents who are working on their career. Let’s celebrate together!