It will come as no surprise that sleep comes up A LOT when I am working with clients on their return to work, and career confidence. From teething, to sickness, to excitement about a birthday or festive season, when our children don’t sleep, neither do we. So, today I wanted to hand over to a guest expert, Helen Davies from Essential Parenting to share some of her tips. Helen is an experienced Nurse, Private Health Visitor, Gentle Sleep Coach and Mum of four; let’s see what she can teach us about managing sleep when you return to work!
Over to you Helen!
“The dreaded “return to work!”
I don’t know about you but having done it four times my feelings were always pretty mixed. I felt waves of sadness, fear and unbridled joy at the thought of being able to eat my lunch and have a wee alone!
There are lots of reasons that we go back to the workplace after having a baby. Sometimes it’s for our own sanity, for a much-needed boost of self-esteem, to be someone other than mum and sometimes it’s just because we need to pay the bills.
Whatever the reason, here are my top tips to help with the overwhelm.
Find your village and outsource what you can We have evolved to raise our children in unison with our families and neighbours…to share the load, both emotional and physical. Unfortunately, life just isn’t like this nowadays so if you can find someone to help with the housework, walk the dog or put the bins out it all helps.
If you have someone to help with the kids, even better. Working all day and parenting all night is hard work, so could you tag team? Have one night off duty, one night on duty. Have a chat before you return to work with your nearest and dearest to see how the hard times can be managed.
Try not to worry about the future Easier said than done, I know but lots of families come to me because they are convinced that even though something is working for them all now they will end up regretting it in the not so distant future.
We worry about how we will stop feeding to sleep, how we will manage to move away from bed sharing.
We wonder about how we will ever be able to go back to work in 6 months when our little ones will only contact nap.
We worry how they will ever learn to self soothe if we always rock them to sleep.
Let me tell you something…. life is too short to worry about the future. It just robs you of the joy of today.
Your little one will change so much in the next week, month, year and the things you are worrying about may never actually be an issue.
The time to change things is when you need to change them, not just in case it needs changing in six weeks. So if something is working right now, (whether that is co-sleeping, contact napping or feeding to sleep) and you and your family are ok with it….then please don’t fight it.
So, don’t worry about everything being consistent, you can continue to feed to sleep and contact nap when your LO is with you at home. If fact I would definitely recommend it as they will need extra connection time when they come home. ⠀⠀
Settling into nursery
t can be tempting to feel that you have got to ‘fix’ sleep before you return to work but in my experience, children are amazing and it won’t take them long to understand (and be happy with the fact) that at nursery or nanny’s house there is a different set of rules. So at home they need the boob or contact to nod off and at nursery or in another childcare setting different rules apply.
Always say goodbye, however hard it is. I know it’s tempting to dash off when they’re occupied, but this may make your baby hypervigilant. They may worry that at any time, you may disappear. If you always say goodbye, they are less likely to become clingy in the long run. Things may be a bit wonky at first when you are both getting used to this new transition and you may find that you are needed more in the night as your little one takes time to reconnect, it will get easier I promise.
Think about your feeding options
It’s up to you to decide how long you want to breastfeed. Returning to work doesn’t mean you have to stop. But before you return to work, give your employer written notification that you are breastfeeding. Your employer should then conduct a specific risk assessment.
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Workplace regulations require employers to provide suitable facilities where pregnant and breastfeeding mothers can rest.
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The Health and Safety Executive (HSE) recommends that it’s good practice for employers to provide a private, healthy and safe environment for breastfeeding mothers to express and store milk.
If you are returning to work before 6 months, you will probably have to pump 3-4 times a day. For those returning to work between 6-8 months you may want to pump once or twice.
If you are returning to work after 9 months chances are your baby would be happy with solids and water but pumping once a day is a good idea to ensure you don’t get clogged ducts.
Check your sleep hygiene to prevent burnout
Paying attention to sleep hygiene is one of the most straightforward ways that you can set yourself up for better sleep. Here are the top tips!
– Keep your routine consistent: Following the same steps each night, can reinforce in your mind that it’s bedtime.
– Take 30 mins to wind down eg. soft music, reading, or relaxation exercises.
– Dim the lights: Try to keep away from bright lights because they can hinder the production of melatonin, a hormone that the body creates to facilitate sleep.
– Switch off electronics.
– Don’t stick it out if you aren’t sleeping. Give it 20 mins. It helps to have a healthy mental connection between being in bed and actually being asleep.
– Get daylight exposure. Sunlight, is one of the key drivers of circadian rhythms that can encourage quality sleep.
– Get some exercise can make it easier to sleep at night and also delivers a host of other health benefits.
– Don’t smoke as nicotine stimulates the body to disrupt sleep.
– Reduce alcohol consumption.
– Reduce caffeine in the afternoon.
– Don’t eat too late to prevent digesting too late.
– Make your bed comfy.
– Have a cool bedroom temperature.
– Use blackout blinds or curtains.
– Drown out noise by using ear plugs or a white noise machine.
– Diffuse calming scents such as lavender to induce a calmer state of mind and help cultivate a positive space for sleep.
Remember that millions of children settle successfully into childcare every year. It’s a wonderful thing for your child to understand the importance of a good work ethic and to meet (and trust) other people. It increases their social world and provides us parents with some much needed balance.
You’ll be ok. Your little one will be ok.”
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Find out more about Helen and her services on her website and Instagram:
Gentle, holistic, family-centred sleep, feeding and behaviour solutions.
I’m Helen, an experienced Children’s Nurse, Private Health Visitor, gentle Sleep Coach and mum of four with 24 years’ experience helping families. I offer calm, compassionate, evidence-based support and information that is age and developmentally appropriate.
I look at sleep as one part of a massive jigsaw – this includes obviously the child, their temperament, age and developmental stage but also the whole family and needs and wishes of the whole.
Clara Wilcox is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
