How to manage your sensory overload as a parent

Sometimes the world is just a little too loud for me. Noises feel like needles in my ears, my clothes don’t settle right, the lights are too bright, smells are overwhelming, and I can’t quite find my physical place in the world. Does that sound familiar? It is something that many parents experience, but don’t always share. The overstimulation of the world we live in, can overwhelm our senses and make us feel exhausted, anxious jittery or just done. We are going to name it today and discuss how to manage sensory overload as a parent.

We are constantly bombarded with information that our senses are processing, and this control centre is busier than you may think. When you consider senses, I imagine your identifying five: taste (gustatory), sight (visual), touch, (tactile) hearing (auditory) and smell (olfactory). Would it surprise you to know that we have eight? In addition to the standard, there are Interoception, Vestibular and Proprioception. Before we move on, let me share move about the often-ignored senses that may be leading to your overwhelm!

Interoception (aka “sensations from internal organs”)
On a basic level, this sense helps us answer the question “How do I feel?” It provides us with information on how our body feels on the inside: are you hungry, or thirsty, do you feel safe or anxious?

Vestibular (aka “sense of head movement”)
This is our sense of how we move: our balance and muscle movement. For example, prone to car sickness or poor balance? This is impacted by your Vestibular Sensory System.

Proprioception (aka “sensations from muscles and joints”)
This is the lesser-known sensory system, which influences our physical body awareness, and the sensors it interacts with are located within our muscles, joints, and even our skin and bones! The information playback helps us know where our body is and help our coordination.

If you have discovered your child, or yourself, are Neuro Divergent some of these phrases may be more familiar. When a brain processes the information of the world through a different neuro-type (such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, or Tourette’s) it affects how our senses respond, and what is needed to make us feel balanced and safe. With this in mind, the overwhelm you may naturally feel as a parent may be amplified by your sensory needs being different to a neuro-typical brain.
I have personal experience with this; I find my brain notices sounds and smells more than others, to the point that I have subtle ear defenders when I am busy areas. A recent Friday night meal out and late-night train showed me how important these were! 

So back to your sensory needs. I am going to talk to you about the areas that you can probably make an instant impact on; the main five! You may notice that you are more sensitive to these when you are emotionally and/or physically tired. I recall in the early day of the newborn stage with both of my girls, I would feel “touched out.” Now, when I have had a particularly full-on day, with lots of meetings, I find that my ears are extra sensitive – the sound of TV and voices just hit differently. One way I overcome that is to try to control the volume; from the infamous earplugs to putting on some music with headphones. A simple reset and rebalance can help.

So, what do you do if you find yourself overwhelmed? Firstly, understand what that feels like for you. Often, the feeling of overwhelm can create a threat response making you feel anxious or stressed. You may feel like you want to escape, shut down, or even fight!   When you recognize those feelings, you can start to soothe your stress response. The best way to do this is to work with the senses that you have, creating tools you can use in the moment. You can notice what works for you, then start to add these into your life; by making sure you “widen your stress bucket” you can manage more and react quicker.

What this looks like can vary, but could include:

Breathing
Slow, deep breaths work wonders. Deep breaths, right down to the base of your lungs, aren’t possible when you are under threat, so the deep breaths tell your body you are safe, and then the brain catches up.

Pressure
An unexpected one, but you may find it works for you. Have you noticed that you feel calmer when you are held? You may find some pressure could help you settle in a moment of stress.

Sound
If it is safe to do so, moving somewhere quieter could help. It may be turning down the volume or putting in earplugs. There are times when the opposite could benefit, sticking on some headphones and tuning in to a music playlist!

Movement
There is a real power in movement; like breathing, it tells the body and brain it is safe, and can help in those movements of overwhelm. So, this may be shaking your hands and feet, dancing, walking, or pacing. Either way, when things feel like they get too much, this is a fantastic way of regulating yourself.

Light
Having easy access to sunglasses is a great trick here, changing location or closing your eyes (when safe to do so) can help limit the impact of your environment.

The above are great when you are in the grip of overwhelming, but what can we do to help the rest of the time? Consider creating these soothing moments as part of your day-to-day life, to help you feel calmer and more regulated, and to increase your tolerance. You may scoff when I say this, but it’s about reminding yourself that YOUR needs are important. So, can you find ways of moving every day? Make sure you eat regularly and rest (not just sleep, but the different types of rest that can help)

The world can be metaphorically and literally loud, and parenting cranks up the volume. Identifying and creating space for the tools and techniques to help you when you when you are noticing a sensory overload is simple, once you treat yourself with the same kindness that you would give those around you.

I’d love to know what you do to help manage your sensory overload as a parent. Come along to Creating Careers to Enjoy and share your must-use tips! 

Some other blogs you may find interesting.

Resources and advice to support parental well-being – The Balance Collective
Book Review: No Hard Feelings by Liz Fosslien & Mollie West Duffy – The Balance Collective
Book Review: A Toolkit for modern life by Dr Emma Hepburn. – The Balance Collective

If you are interested in finding out more about my 1:1 coaching and workshops, you can see more here, or book a call to discuss your needs.