There is a positive shift in conversations about the complexities of the human brain. I’m so glad to see this across all areas, including the importance of being neuro-inclusive in the workplace. There are regular awareness weeks, where people within the community who have lived experiences are challenging the status quo and assumptions, and sharing insight and tools and techniques that work! One of these is Ellie Middleton following an adult diagnosis of autism and ADHD (often referred to as AuDHD) created the “(un)masked community and published their book “Unmasked: The Ultimate Guide to ADHD, Autism and Neurodivergence”* in October 2023. I know I’ve been looking forward to reading this, and from the feedback across my channels, many of you are too!
As she shared on her Instagram, this book is a “deep dive into all things autism, ADHD neurodivergence and late-diagnosis, written in bite-sized chunks for whizzy busy brains.” Sounds right up my street! Like many of us, I have come to reflect on my “busy brain” with a new lens, following the AuDHD diagnosis of a close family member. The diagnosis process for this young one was just the starting point, the next was the understanding of how it was for her, then her needs and then fighting for the accommodations and support within the education system. For those who know, any diagnosis is hard to get, and then the next chapter of education and advocacy starts!
It may be that you are going through a similar process, with a child or close relative diagnosed, with traits that you recognize in yourself or were just part of how your family functions. You can start to question everything about your life, relationships, communication, and choices through a new lens. If you aren’t that person, but someone around you is, this book is also useful to help get a glimpse into their mind, the realities of growing up undiagnosed and the support (accommodations) you can put in place.
Like many of the books in a similar field, the author is transparent about only being able to identify with her lived experience (and as we all know, if you have met one autistic (or another neurodivergent) person you have met one person!) But she pulls in expertise from others, as well as well-researched findings from a variety of sources. It can be a hard read sometimes, especially when the risk factors of lack of diagnosis and support, or (as it is so common) misdiagnosis comes into play.
It’s important to note that this author, thankfully like many others, supports self-diagnosis / identification. I am sure it hasn’t passed you by the enormous waiting lists and postcode lottery for diagnosis, and a high price to pay to go private. However, most people that I know who identify as neurodivergent don’t come to this lightly. They often make their inner workings their special interest for a while and come up with a long list of evidence. It’s not a conclusion drawn from watching one TikTok (as much as some would want you to believe)
So, if you have come to this review for yourself, or someone close to you, these are the four things that you need to know about Unmasked.
- It’s written for the “busy brain.”
If this is the first book, or you are early in your reflection process, this is a full book. It mostly focuses on Autism and ADHD (due to the author’s lived experience) and talks through the diagnostic criteria (and what this looks like in a masked/undiagnosed adult) as well as the actionable changes that can be made to help someone. To prevent the information from becoming overwhelming each chapter is given an intro to show what will be discussed, and a brief overview at the end.
- If you feel like you are, you probably are.
What I mean by that is many people I know that self-identify do because the traits that are explained by the diagnostic criteria make sense. Once you have an explanation, you can begin making adjustments to help you. You don’t need to have a formal diagnosis to make changes to make your life more comfortable. Likewise, you don’t need to prove a diagnosis to gain the support you need!
- Masking doesn’t mean coping.
Even medical professionals will often disregard adult diagnosis because there are assumptions about what autism and ADHD “look like”. The original diagnostic criteria were designed around young, white cis-gender male patients. If you have ever gone through this process, you will see how stark that is! Even more, they may claim that a diagnosis isn’t needed as you are “fine” because you have a job, a relationship, and friendships. What they don’t see is the energy and compromises you must make to make this happen. You may also be living with diagnoses – such as anxiety or depression – that are reactions to unmet needs.
- This is a handbook for support as well as understanding
This book not only gives adults a better understanding of what these traits look like in late-identified people, but she also helps you develop the language and tools to advocate for yourself. From understanding why, they are so poorly understood in older people, to the push for inclusive and neuro-affirming language. But importantly she provides tried and tested ways that you can have your needs met. Scripts to help with communication (so YOU get the information you need), to practical tech to help with your focus, you leave the book feeling hopeful.
What I love the most about this book is the confidence it will give people. It has relatable autobiographical elements, clear explanations of traits and how they “show up” in older teens and adults, and real tools and techniques to help navigate a neurotypical world. For those who are navigating this diagnostic journey, it translates all the over-medicalized and narrow interpretations of the traits and demonstrates what adjustments can be made, and how to communicate these with others. I can also see how a parent with a newly diagnosed child will be able to use this to accommodate and support their child until the child can do this for themselves.
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Clara Wilcox is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
