Why we need to reframe self care

It’s the festive season. Time for us to run ourselves ragged to make sure that everyone feels joy. Next will come the message that we need to “look after ourselves”, the gift suggestions for women are often full to the brim with the consumer tools of self-care – bubble baths and eye masks. However, the idea that self-care can be bought in the form of luxury products or spa days misses the mark. Real self-care involves making choices that protect your well-being, setting limits on what you take on, and addressing the mental load that many of us carry. So today, I want to encourage us all to reframe self-care and make it revolutionary!

Capitalism has turned self-care into a marketable concept, encouraging us to buy products that claim to enhance wellness. But true self-care isn’t about consumerism; it’s about recognising and resisting societal pressures that demand perfection from us.

I want to start this blog with an amazing statement, one to frame the next 500 or so words.  Audre Lorde famously said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare.”  Radical Self-care is a way of saying “…You matter, you are worthy”. This is something that the current way of the world seems to want us to avoid; instead, it wants us to diminish our needs and consider ourselves an afterthought.

Take this article as a call to arms, and a message that it is time to place yourself at the top of your priority list. Let me share with you the ways that I am moving towards radical self-care and finding ways to re-write decades of messages that say it’s “selfish”.

Our understanding of self-care changes as we move through the stages of life. It’s about recognising what truly matters to us and aligning our actions with those values. Over time, my approach to self-care has shifted, as have the resources I’m willing to invest—whether that’s time, effort, or money. Currently, they look like:

• keeping an eye on my hormone health,
• educating myself financially,
• getting enough rest,
• supporting my immune system, and
• reducing the impact of those who aren’t supportive.

None of these can be found in a gift bag.

Setting limits is a crucial part of looking after yourself. It’s about knowing when to say no to things that drain your energy so you can focus on what really counts. This might mean turning down additional work or limiting time spent on social media to safeguard your mental health. These limits help conserve energy for activities that align with your values. Not sure what your values are? Then check them out here.

As we age, understanding our hormone health as well as our physical and mental health becomes increasingly important. However, how often do you put off booking an appointment, because of not having the time? I know I have been guilty of that; leaving symptoms to a point where they can’t be ignored.  Luckily, they have all been easy to fix or support, but I didn’t know that when I entered the Drs waiting area!

I grew up in a world where it was assumed that money was greed and true financial security was what others created. The idea of investments was too risky. Did you feel the same way too? One of my modest radical acts of self-care is feministic financial education; I’m working on closing my gender pension gap, have a small but growing investment portfolio and am driven to educate my girls so they enter adulthood with the education I was lacking.

However, it’s important to remember, that whilst all these practices are important, they shouldn’t replace collective action aimed at systemic change. The patriarchy flourishes when we are silent. We need to challenge structures that perpetuate inequality rather than solely focusing on individual well-being. This means using our voice collectively, speaking up when we see injustice, sharing our personal stories and amplifying the voices of those who are regularly ignored or silenced.

Radical self-care can be uncomfortable, but the impact is enormous.

I’d love to know what you think, what steps will you take to create radical self-care?

Come over to Creating Careers to Enjoy and let me know.