This month’s book review was one that I bought, based on the title only! Sometimes I’m very targeted with my choices; either recommendations from trusted people or reviews I’ve seen online. Other times, it’s something that caught my eye. I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of thriving recently, so I was pleased to see a book that seemed to answer all my needs. Now, did it live up to my high expectations? Let me share my review of “A Guide to Thriving”* by Jon Rosemberg.
The particularly long subtitle (the science behind breaking old patterns, reclaiming your agency and finding meaning) offers an insight into the depth the book promises. It’s blurbed by some big names in the personal development and business world, so even though I hadn’t heard of the author Jon Rosemberg before, I had a feeling it would be a valuable book. Rosemberg is a fascinating man; he bears his soul within the book, sharing his personal and family history of challenging and traumatic events. It’s clear to see how his life and professional experience have moved him from senior strategic roles into that of leadership and coaching. He sums up the book as for those who wonder, “Is this all there is to life?” and breaks down his AIR approach: Awareness, Inquiry and Reframing.
So, in true “Clara Cliff Notes” style, here are the four things you need to know about A Guide to Thriving
- The definition of thriving
If you don’t understand it, how can you know if you have achieved it? Across the book, the realities of survival vs thriving states are discussed; each chapter includes a case study of someone Rosemberg has worked with, moving from one to the other.
Thriving is explained as the state of “openness where curiosity, engagement, connectedness and possibility guide us”. We find clarity, expand, meet challenges with confidence and trust our capacity to adapt and overcome”.
- You can thrive within hard times.
It’s clearly shown that thriving doesn’t negate a difficult life; it just changes how we react to it. It shows how having this outlook (and, most importantly, practising this outlook) means that when the hard times land, we can better react, problem solve, and stay healthy.
- Survival mode sometimes has its place.
Rosemberg represents the true centre of Positive Psychology. He highlights that sometimes the “survival mode” is necessary as a temporary state. As he explains, this mode is about endurance; we do what is necessary to get us through the situation and minimise risks. But, in the longer term, we want to move to thrive where we have more space to grow. Simply, the tasks we perform in the two states are the same: just our relationship to them changes. Knowing that can mean we are more compassionate and optimistic about our future.
- Pay attention to the story we tell ourselves.
Rosemberg’s approach considers past, present and future you and highlights how our life experiences and our state (survival vs thrive) will alter how we view ourselves, and how in control we feel.
He explains that every time we reflect on an experience, our current emotional/mental state impacts how we view ourselves via the memory. In survival mode, we risk looping into a negative thought pattern. The way forward is the reframe (the R of his AIR), learning how to relate to the experience, ourselves, and our relationship with others, differently. This can move us into a more positive but realistic thought process over time. Is this something you could try?
“A guide to thriving” is holistic, well-thought-out, reflective and immediately actionable. His approach leads the reader to a core belief that we have agency. This control and influence over life that then builds and supports our resilience. But, as Jon Rosemberg stresses, “The ideas in this book are invitations, not conclusions”. Pg 188. So, you may take something different based on what you need in your life, right now!
So, before go, I want to share with you my standout quote of the book. On page 120 he talks about the importance of savouring, a key part of staying in the present.
So, I leave you with this reminder:
“Savoring … includes lingering in positive moments and letting them nourish us long after they have passed”.
Have you read A Guide to Thriving? I’d love to know what you think.
If you would like to support my ongoing book reviews, feel free to “buy me a coffee”.
You may also enjoy these reviews:
The Resilience Club by Angela Armstrong PhD
*This is an affiliate link. If you click and purchase, I may get a small commission.
Clara Wilcox is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
