There are so many benefits to working remotely, with no commute being a massive one! However, there is one issue that often gets overlooked. And that is the risk of loneliness. As this week is Loneliness Awareness Week, I thought the perfect time to invite us all to talk about this and share some ways of reducing the risk of loneliness. I want to talk about how you can feel connected when you work remotely.

I’ve been inspired by the Marmalade Trust, an award-winning charity dedicated to raising awareness of loneliness and empowering people to make connections. Loneliness Awareness week (usually a week in June) has been running since 2017, and works with organisations, businesses and communities to raise the profile of loneliness and tools to help.

What is loneliness?

Solitude and loneliness are not the same thing; solitude (or aloneness) is often something that we experience occasionally, or willingly, and often is associated with a period of self-reflection, calm and even spirituality. On the other hand, loneliness is more longstanding and is linked with real or perceived social isolation and disconnection. This is something we need to pay attention to.

Psychologist Dr Ami Rokach defines loneliness as “when our social experience fails to meet our social expectations”.  It’s about our own experiences, and can show up in numerous ways:

Emotional Loneliness
This is seen as a lack of emotional attachment to another person in a way that is healthy.

Social Loneliness
Not having people to socialise with, or who share our interests, passions or hobbies

Existential Loneliness
Often quoted, this is the experience of being surrounded by people but still feeling alone.

You may have recognised some or all these feelings; no one is immune. Major life transitions, such as becoming a parent, moving to a new area, changing jobs, or working 100% remotely, can give us opportunities to meet new people, but also have a risk of loneliness.

Why is it important to reduce loneliness?

You may be surprised to learn that Loneliness is a health issue. I first came across this while reviewing Dr Vivek Mutht’s book Together. As the Surgeon General of the USA under President Obama, he saw the growing health crisis that was linked to loneliness. Reading this in September 2021, over a year into social and physical restrictions, I could feel its impact. I am sure you may have done so too.

So, why do we need to take loneliness seriously? It has major health implications, including an increased risk of depression, dementia, and is just as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day! It’s across all generations, with 16–29-year-olds twice as likely as those over 70 to experience loneliness.

It’s so common too; 45% of adults feel occasionally or sometimes lonely in England; that equates to around 25 MILLION people. So, if you have periods of feeling this way, you aren’t alone.

What can we do to feel more connected?

When we think about who and what we need, understanding all aspects of social connections is important to managing or reducing the risk of loneliness. Social connections vary from brief conversations with strangers to our closest, dearest friends whom we rely on.  When we are looking to stay connected with people and the positive health impacts of that, we must look at all aspects.

When you are working on connections, it’s not just the quantity you want to consider, but the quality too. Some days, that can look like lots of friendly conversations when you pop to the local shops, others are a deep, vulnerable conversation with someone that you trust. Both work together to create feelings of connection and a reduction in loneliness.

So, how does reducing loneliness work, in practise?

Find those who share the same interests as you

With all the well-earned criticism of social media and the internet, the one thing it can do well is help people collect, virtually and in person, those who share their interests. You may even be lucky enough to do this in the workplace (company Book Club, anyone?)

Assume your friends want to speak to you

I know this sounds strange, but stay with me. Loneliness, when it creeps in, can make us feel unwanted and start a pathway of withdrawal. So, push past that discomfort and reach out.

Upgrade your communication

I have fallen foul of this over the years, and it’s got worse since lockdown times. It’s easy to be fast with your communication. Sending an email that could be a call, calling when it could be a video … you see where I am going? Especially when you work remotely, think about how you can get as close to “face to face” as possible.

Create time for conversation

It’s easy to rush from meeting to meeting or completely go “aeroplane” mode, doing deep focus work. But these miss the points of connection. So, where you can carve out time for conversations, from “online coffees” that you would want to meet in real life, to “chatter time” at the beginning of meetings.

Understand what YOUR version of connection is

Let me remind you of Dr Rokach’s definition of loneliness: “when our social experience fails to meet our social expectations”.  So, pay attention to what makes you feel connected, safe, heard and seen. Where and from whom does this come, and how can you work on getting more of this? Likewise, if you feel the energetic benefit of solitude (maybe as a way of connecting with your interests), unapologetically make time for that.

What makes us feel the loneliest is spending time with people who don’t want to be with us, doing things that don’t interest us! So, if you only remember one thing about this article, it is the power of connection and how little and everyday actions can stave off loneliness.

If you enjoyed this, you may want to read these:

Calmism (8 habits for complete rest) by Dr Alexis Willett
How can I find time for myself within a busy career and family life?
A letter to my past self: ten lessons after ten years in business.

I’m Clara Wilcox, the affordable coach who helps parents enjoy their careers again. Return to work, career & redundancy coaching for individuals, freelancers, businesses and parents & carer groups.

Book a call to talk about coaching or career wellbeing workshops.