What have you learned by parenting through a pandemic?

There are many moments in our lives that give us pause; we learn lessons from experiences, and they alter the way we look at ourselves and our lives. It goes without saying that the past two years have forced change on us in a way that we could never have expected, needed or wanted. We see how it’s moved the goals posts on how we work, travel, spend our leisure time, socialize, exercise, learn … the list goes on! Today I wanted to spend some time thinking about one key area: parenting. What have you learned by parenting through a pandemic?

 

I started a diary when the idea of restrictions was mentioned. On the 18th of March 2020, I took pen to paper (the first time since I was a teenager) and wrote the line “Well, these are unusual times.”  I tracked my feelings, the stats, my thoughts and the cultural response. Over the months the fatigue of writing about it was clear… I went from daily entries, to monthly. But what I noticed when I read it back is how we filled our days, and how the little things because so important. 

To be able to work, learn, and connect through the most severe restrictions, we had to reframe what fun was and rethink our style of parenting. In the early days we relished the lack of routine; cocooned and safe within our four walls we could temporarily ignore what was happening and allow our girls to create their own version of fun and schooling without rules and deadlines. There is no doubt that over time, we realized for all of us, why structure is so important. Habits become anchors into our day; something we never thought we would crave.

I remember sitting down and creating a brainstorm of activities for us to do, to take the opportunity to create positive memories, and to do the things we had convinced ourselves we would do if we only had more time. Time was the thing that was given to us in droves; as the world started to “reopen” we assumed we would fill our days to the brim again. In fact, the opposite happened. We relished the slower pace and removed some of the guilt we had felt by not creating diaries filled with excitement. Our eldest had found a similar thing, she wanted quality time with her friends, rather than Instagram-able moments.

 

I’m not saying we haven’t found our old ways slipping back, but I feel we are quicker to say “Yes”, “Why Not” or” No” dependent on the question! Nothing is taken for granted anymore, and we choose the parenting battles we face in a very different way.

 

I was interested to see what others had learned by parenting through a pandemic; does any of this ring true for you? 

 

“Movie nights were our shining light in the pandemic! What unsettled our children the most was the lack of certainty around things that were previously solid. For a time, everything was topsy-turvy, plans changed at a moment’s notice, holidays cancelled, schools closed etc and they found that really hard to deal with when they had been used to fairly rigid routines. I think they felt quite scared by it because everything was so unpredictable. And it was unsettling for adults too, so it was very much uncharted territory for all of us!

 

Our response to that was to look at what was actually within our control at the time, and that’s when the movie nights were born. We all took it in turns to choose a film, the only rules were it had to be available on the platforms we had access to, suitable for everyone age-wise, and it had to be one we hadn’t all seen before. We chose different movie night snacks each week, and then we’d arrange the sofas into prime viewing position, close all the curtains, snuggle up together and watch the film. 

 

It genuinely became the highlight of our week, and even now things have settled down a lot, we still have movie night once a week, and I can’t see it ending any time soon!” Vickie from Victuals

 

“I learnt that I definitely don’t need to over-schedule trips, play dates and outings for my kids! Plenty of days in the various lockdowns we were quite happy with a takeaway drink and a football in the park.” Jenny from Bonfield Marketing

 

I think the biggest lesson I learned from parenting through the pandemic was to make things easier! We only know that we have made the “right” choices with hindsight, but we can overcomplicate our lives by trying to manage situations we have very little control over. So, going forward, I hope to retain some of the sense of creativity that we needed to muddle through this time in our lives and allow us to become the parents we know we can be. What about you? Come along to Creating Careers to Enjoy and share what you have learned by parenting through a pandemic?