Why compromise is an essential part of balance

I think there is a fundamental problem with the drive for balance. The words we use discussing a balanced life plays a massive part (and I include myself in this). The phrase “Work-Life Balance” creates an expectation that every aspect of our life will find its place; an equal and unmoving state of stability. The reality is not the case. A balanced life shifts and reacts. Whilst we may desire predictability, ironically balance can only be created through change, and that change is compromise. 

 I recently ran a quick poll in my Facebook Group, Creating Careers To Enjoy, asking if members felt like they needed to compromise to have a balanced life. At the time of writing this blog, 100% of those that answered said “Yes”. Even though we seem to know this deep down, I find again and again that the parents I work with, and know, feel a sense of immense guilt and/or frustration about the choices they must make to create the life they want.

Compromise doesn’t have to be a lifelong change. What we need now, may not be relevant or required in the future. Consider the resources that we want and need to continue the life we deserve: 

•   Money 
•  Time 
•  Location 
•  Property 
•  “Stuff”
• Support

When we compromise for balance, we often start with removal or reduction. More time leads to less income; more income leads to less rest. I am sure you can insert your own version right here! Many people come to me as they are seeking the balance but can’t even begin to see where they can shift or change what they need. So, today, I’m going to share with you some thoughts around compromise and balance, but maybe not what you are expecting!  

When we make decisions, we want a simple answer to a complicated question; How can I care for myself and my loved ones? The range of answers can make us feel out of control, especially when other people create policies and make decisions that directly influence our lives and those around us. It’s 100% human to focus on this and feel powerless; but this takes up so much energy, leaving us exhausted and overwhelmed. Instead, I’m going to suggest we start noticing what we can influence, however small, and start considering what we can change. Because, at the end of the day, compromise is adaptation.   

Today I want to ask you to dig deeper and consider other the often-overlooked elements of balance, health and wellbeing. Many times, the compromises we make to have the balance we think we need places us under more stress; reduced income, more responsibility, less time to sleep, a psychologically unsafe workplace. Whilst compromise is essential for balance, there are several things I don’t think you should not compromise on. 

 

Sticking to your boundaries 

If you aren’t clear on what your boundaries are, yet, then you need to check out this blog. You deserve the right to your own time, with the people you want to be around, and the opportunities you deserve.  This is the starting point. Listing what you need, what you want and what you deserve can really help you stand your ground when making decisions, unapologetically! 

 Asking for help 

So often the word “should” pops in; when in fact there are people, systems, communities and organisations that can help. Make sure you know your 100% DESERVE help in every form possible, regardless of what you may have been told in the past, or even right now. With this in mind, are you open to helping others; make the support circular? 

Accepting support 

There are times that others see what you need before you do. How comfortable are you accepting this support, in whatever form it comes in? This unsurprisingly links back to asking for help too; who can help you access the support you need?  Consider the examples you set for other people in your life, especially the next generation. Do you want them to advocate for their needs and access the support they deserve?  Are you doing the same thing for yourself? 

Being able to adjust is one way of developing a balanced life. This starts by finding your voice, advocating for yourself, reaching out to others that can help and being part of a community that helps each other. By adding things into your life that you WILL NOT compromise on, you can continue to maintain the balance that you need. How would it feel to have a list of “MUST HAVE” when you consider your balance?

 

Come along to Creating Careers to Enjoy and let me know your thoughts. Who and what helps you create a balanced life?

 

You can read more blogs on balance!