Whilst recently scrolling through one of my, numerous, social media feeds I came across a meme that made me chuckle. I may be slightly paraphrasing here, but it went something like this. “What is your dream job? Well, in my dreams I don’t work!”. At a time when the definition of work is undergoing a massive transition, I wonder if a dream job is a realistic aspiration. Or are we setting ourselves up to fail?
I have always believed that we have the potential, and the control, to have an enjoyable career. It doesn’t have to be something that we “put up with” or that it even feels like something we have to work at. I have mused this several times before through this blog when reflecting on all the aspects that make up an enjoyable career.
When I work with clients, I unpick who they are, what is important to them, how they need to communicate and where their skills lie; all of this before we even consider what that means for the next place where they will work! I often encourage them to look outside of their work to create the career they enjoy, highlighting that their job can be a part of the way to finding their purpose, but not the sole focus. However, clients often hit a stumbling block, based on the concept that there is a dream job for everyone waiting for them.
Let’s start by unpicking the meaning of the word. Yes, I may be splitting hairs with semantics, but I think it’s an important part of reframing the lens we see our lives through and how our careers fit within it. When you hear the word “dream” what do you imagine? Something unobtainable? When you pull apart the dictionary definition of this word, we see the issue. Results vary from “a cherished ambition or aspiration” to “indulge in daydreams or fantasies about something greatly desired”. It sets the expectation of being out of reach.
When I work with clients on unlocking the potential answers to “what next”, I regularly suggest the rocking chair exercise. Through this, clients use their imagination to time travel into the future, to picture what they want you like to be. People talk about places they have been, people they have met, and experiences they have had; all of which tie into their idea of a life well-lived. For many, work doesn’t come up as an achievement, but as a way to facilitate the experiences they are imagining. When this insight is brought back to reality, they consider how and if their current work supports their future plans. With this in mind, their next step is no longer a dream, but a set of “need to have” and “want to have”, to make long term plans more feasible.
Whilst going through this exercise with a client recently, we worked on re-framing their career checklist, into a list of “ideals” not “dreams”. Again, pulling on the pages of my virtual dictionary, there is a slight perspective change in the definition of this word. When considered, an ideal role felt more achievable. One definition is “satisfying one’s concept of what is most suitable”. This sounds much more achievable, right?
There is strength in paying attention to the language we use when discussing our careers and balance. Sometimes we can be unnecessarily bound to a word or an idea, and this becomes an unachievable standard or goal. Instead, I suggest you focus on the specifics of what you want, understand what that word means to you, and reframe it to be more positive and achievable. What does your ideal career look and feel like?
So, at the beginning of this blog, I wondered if a dream job is a realistic aspiration. My answer is that we need to pay closer attention to the outcomes of a dream role. Rather than using this idea as an affirmation, consider it a starting point for a blueprint of what that looks like for you!
If you would like to read some more blogs to help you understand what a career to enjoy looks like for you, follow these links:
It’s time to make hopeful goals
How to simplify your goals setting
Why everyone deserves a career to enjoy
How to discover your boundaries
Come and join over 500 people, who happen to be parents, within Creating Careers To Enjoy.
Clara Wilcox is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
