Book Review: How to Feel Better by Ruth Kudzi

It may seem strange, a coach reviewing and recommending a book written by another coach. A book that provides you with “4 steps to self-coach your way to a happier, more authentic life.”  And I can see your point! But, whilst I would love everyone to be able to work 1:1 with me, it is not always possible. So, until I get around to writing my book, you will need to read “How to Feel Better” by Ruth Kudzi.*

I have respected Ruth’s work from afar for a while, but over the last four years have had the pleasure of getting to know her more professionally, through her Coach training school. During 2020, I took the opportunity to refresh my DISC knowledge, and most recently, I completed my second coaching qualification via Optimus Coach Academy. So, in full transparency, I am professionally invested in the coaching approach she shares in the book! However, I have tried to read the book through the eyes of a potential client, someone who has not experienced a lot of coaching before, rather than reviewing it as a fellow coach, with an academic interest!

So, what do I think? This book provides the closest experience of coaching that you will get, without engaging with an actual face-to-face coach. It creates a smooth and easy-to-follow process, with tools and techniques which will deepen your self-reflection. Even as someone who is more experienced with coaching and being coached than the average reader, it uncovered some interesting perspectives, with which I haven’t always naturally engaged.

Kudzi is great at breaking down complicated neuroscience and theories and tying them to everyday experiences that will feel familiar and relevant; whilst offering a range of approaches that means everyone will be able to apply them, irrespective of their personality and preferences.

Some of the concepts in this book may be familiar to you if you have worked in the personal development field for any length of time, but what makes it great is how it effectively transforms the insights into an actionable plan. With the basis in positive psychology, it works on the assumption that you can change but continues the reflection and support to a thorough and deeper step four (often missed in similar books, I feel) in “Step Four: Integrate and embed the change.”

In true Clara Cliff notes style, these are the three key takeaways from “How to Feel Better.

Set Goals That Light You Up

You need to define what “better” looks like for you. This isn’t about setting unrealistic targets that’ll have you feeling like a failure. Instead, tap into your brain’s reward system by setting ones that genuinely excite you. When you create clear, meaningful goals, you’re priming your neural pathways for success. Remember, when developing that, that these goals should fit YOUR life, not someone else’s version of it.

Embrace the Power of Small Steps

Kudzi’s approach of taking small, manageable steps is spot-on. Neuroscience backs this up: each small win triggers a dopamine release, motivating you to keep going. So, forget the “all or nothing” mindset. Whether it’s updating your CV, scheduling a networking coffee, or speaking up in a meeting, celebrate those mini milestones. They’re the building blocks of sustainable change.

Practice Self-Compassion

This one’s crucial: be kind to yourself. Self-compassion is a powerful tool backed by science. When you treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend, you’re actually reducing cortisol (the stress hormone) and increasing oxytocin (the bonding hormone). This creates a state more favourable to growth. So, when things don’t go to plan – and let’s be honest, when do they ever? – give yourself a break. It’s going to help you stay on track in the long run.

This book is a great introduction to coaching; it helps you create an open and self-aware mindset and can act as a catalyst to create significant change in your life. For those who want more in-depth and individual coaching support, this book will enable you to make the most of your 1:1 sessions. Really, what’s not to love?

Have you read “How to Be Better”? I’d love to read your thoughts. Come over to Create a Career to Enjoy to share.

You can read my earlier book reviews and recommendations, here.

*If you click through this link, and purchase anything, I may get a small commission.