There is so much conversation about phones, screens, and their impact on us. I think a lot about the effect on my kids, but I don’t spend enough time on my relationship with screens! I am always keen to learn more and was intrigued to read the perspectives of a Neuroscientist and a Neurology Doctor. The fact that this is one person was a win for me. Let’s talk about Dr Faye Begeti’s “The Phone Fix: How to transform your smartphone habits”*
There is justification within the criticism of screens; how data is used, how algorithms influence, and how it can impact all our mental health. However, I was looking for something that would have a fair and even reflection on this issue. The digital world isn’t going anywhere, so it’s crucial we learn how to live with it. And I think I found it with “Phone Fix”.
Let me first share the book’s intention:
“What is really happening in your brain when you use your phone, and how to harness it.
We pick up our phones on average 80 times a day, and approximately a quarter of our waking hours are spent in front of a screen. We self-interrupt our work and social lives, forgo sleep, procrastinate important tasks and opt for digital distraction when we’re bored or feel uncomfortable. Worst-case scenario, we’re told phone use is melting our brains, creating a mental health epidemic and machines are taking over the world.
But how much of this is true and what can we do about it?
NHS neurology doctor and neuroscientist Faye Begeti explains the science behind why we have formed so many fixed and negative habits around our devices. She reflects on both deliberate choices and automatic behaviours, whilst also challenging myths around digital ‘addiction’, the harmfulness of blue light and how dopamine functions in the brain.”
I was hopeful it would be balanced, coming from a neurology doctor and a Neuroscientist, and it didn’t disappoint. It is a non-judgmental, science-backed book that offers practical, impactful tools for a healthier relationship with all digital media. I assumed this would just be about social media, but it covers all the elements we have access to.
Over three parts, The Groundwork, The Habit Puzzle and Unlock Your Potential we are led through a mature discussion, acknowledging the many positives that smartphones provide whilst highlighting how passive screen use is often a symptom of wellbeing issues rather than a cause. I spent many an evening reading parts out to those around me, and even before I’d finished, I noticed my relationship with screens had changed.
As usual, here are my five lessons learnt from The Phone Fix. Just call me Clara Cliff Notes.
- That willpower can be enhanced.
Motivation (or its lack) seems to have evolved into an ethical issue. That struggling with it is a personality fault, and sticking to things gives us a moral high ground. This book clearly shows that willpower is a complex system, driven by our executive functioning (via our prefrontal cortex) and influenced by factors such as tiredness, hunger, emotional overwhelm, and, most strikingly, cognitive tiredness. Our brain makes shortcuts when we are tired, some of which show up in digital habits. So, with that in mind, we are shown how we can create environments that better support our low-energy days and enhance our focus.
- How scrolling is a symptom, not a cause.
I remember a time before the internet and before smartphones. Was my “spare time” full and varied? No! I still found things to fill my time, akin to doomscrolling. That looked like gossip mags, repeats of films, or soap-opera episodes on the TV. Now, when I am low energy and need to recharge, I may scroll on Threads or watch a few Reels. What remains the same is the reduction in focus. Dr Begeti shows that if we are reaching for “low energy” activities like a phone, we need to look at how we rest and recuperate, rather than demonise screens themselves.
- Our brains are not designed to consume (this much!)
It will come as no surprise that we are not meant to consume the level of information. We are not intended to be accessible to anyone, to allow anyone to search for anything, or to be expected to be aware of every issue. However, our brain craves social connection and completion.
The designers of screen-focused elements know this and built it into the functioning of apps!
The average person picks up their phone 96 times a day (or every 10 minutes). Why? Because we are primed to, from notifications to non-chronological timelines. The designers are fighting for our attention. And the more we do, the quicker and more automatic those behaviours are. Knowing this takes the pressure off and can help us be more conscious of our use.
- How to change your habits.
The book is bursting at the seams not only with knowledge, but with tools. How to adjust your behaviour around screens, and how to use them to your advantage. The biggest one for me, which we have actioned almost immediately, is linked to binge-watching. It’s been uncovered that for most TV shows, cliffhangers are resolved within the first five to ten minutes of the next episode. So, we have started saying we will watch the first 15 minutes after a dramatic ending, and our late-night binge-watching is under control!
The simplest way to manage your screen use/email checking/ social checking (insert what you want to change) is to create a 5-minute buffer. When you feel the urge to pick up your phone, just wait. Then the desire may pass. If not, you are teaching your brain to pause. Even better, if you can “buffer” that with an activity you prefer (such as reading a couple of pages of a book or stretching), the “reward” parts of your brain may feel satisfied.
- Screens are not the enemy.
Screens have been demonised, being compared to harmful behaviour like smoking. The reality is, they are here for the long term, so we need to be intentional. If you want to watch lots of TV, make it deliberate, and watch a show or film socially. “Cosy Gaming” is a great way to healthily use a screen (a family favourite of ours is Animal Crossing). Whilst this book is focused on adults, there are reassuring mentions of children and teenagers regarding mental health and self–esteem.
Reassuringly, the current consensus on the research is that blue light doesn’t have a significant negative impact on sleep (but natural light does, positively) , teenagers stay up late even if they don’t have screens (due to al later chronotype) and we need to help everyone find a variety of ways to support emotional regulation (which children and teens often use their screens for).
So, who do I recommend this book for? If screen use is something you want to visit, whilst being aware that we live in a digital world, this is the book for you. It helps us understand that, even with your best effort, your screen use may feel impulsive and offers a wide variety of tools to help you feel more in control, for yourself and those around you. It builds a neutral message about how they can negatively impact your life, but offers reasonable, very accessible suggestions for creating a digital-positive household (for yourself and your kids!).
Have you read The Phone Fix? I’d love to read your thoughts.
If you are interested in this, you may also like to read these:
Book Review: Atomic Habits by James Clear
How you can have a positive relationship with social media
The power of online communities for business,
Why you need to clean up your social media feed
How to use social media for business, when you don’t really want to!
Clara Wilcox is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
