This month’s Ask Me Anything question is a little different to my usual themes, but especially important and timely. Right now, exams are being sat, and choices are being made. You may have young people in your life making life decisions, and you are wondering how to offer advice or support when things feel so different! Today, I want to share with you how to best support your teen’s career choices* without taking over!
Many kids and young people want our guidance about these key times; however, some may actively push against it, right until they, well, don’t! Either way, I imagine you want to feel prepared when the time comes!
Having spent over twenty years in the career space, there are some universal tips for any stage of your career. You may even decide to apply these to your own career planning, too.
You may be thinking, “How can I give ANY career advice when things feel so different!” I would argue that there has always been a mismatch regarding work across generations. However, with the pace (and pressure) of technological change currently, that gap can feel enormous.
However, there are ways to support your tween or teen’s career choices, without them feeling like you are taking over. And here they are:
Keep things skills-focused, rather than grades.
Many young people feel like they only hear about qualifications, and they are under pressure to balance topics they love with core subjects that feel unnecessary. It’s a “boiling point”, especially if post-16 or post-18 life seems to be too much of a leap.
So, the adults in their lives can help by talking about skills. This is particularly relevant when they are having to take subjects they aren’t interested in!
Simply, connecting the skills that the subjects teach us and how they show up in a career or job can be useful. From critical thinking, problem solving, research and communication, these are all soft skills that can be applied WHEREVER this wish to go next.
Connect with their interests.
Across my two decades of experience, one thing that is still consistent, for anyone at ANY age. The motivation and power when your work is interest-focused. So, research the things that they proactively want to do, don’t push into a direction that you feel is “best role”.
Even if your young person won’t talk to you about it, work on educating yourself about the career options within their areas of interest. Don’t make assumptions about what is a “worthy” or “possible” career path. Keep an open mind about what can be turned into a job. Now, this isn’t about commercialisation, a passion; some things are just meant to bring pure joy into our lives. But stay curious about what you have a job or career path.
I work with A LOT of people on their careers, who, decades into their career, feel unfilled or unmotivated; when asked how they came to their career path, many have been put onto that journey via pressure from their parents! You and I know you don’t want that for the next generation.
Adaptability & Flexibility
The world of work feels different for people now; the way that AI is being pushed and prioritised for many means that the pathways and certainty of roles seem unclear. However, the one thing that remains true is that the work that our children will end up in doesn’t exist right now, either in the type of work or the way it’s delivered! That has been true in the past and will continue in the future.
Just think of your career, when you were choosing your GCSEs (or other exams!), did you expect your career would look like it does now?
So, encourage them in all stages of life to be adaptable and flexible, and encourage them to challenge the status quo!
Be a role model and lead by example.
Our kids are watching. ALL THE TIME! Think about how you talk about your career and work. Are you positive about what you do? Do you share how you do what you do, your challenges and triumphs? The messages we share about work and career are building the framework of beliefs and values that our children have about work that carry through the rest of their lives.
One of my favourite things as a career coach is learning not just WHY people do what they do, but how they got there. Often, young people’s only exposure to careers is through very linear, restricted pathways. But the reality of working life once we leave education is more of a squiggle than a line or a ladder. So, when they are open to it, answer their questions. Now, this is working on the assumption that the children and young people want to listen; so, some of this is more about behaviour than direct conversation!
It may be that you have people around you, both personally or professionally, who have an interesting career path, or could be a potential mentor if there is a match in the sector.
Make life more than a job
Finally, and this may be something that you need to remind yourself of, is to make life more than work, and that education is lifelong. In reality, our young people are expected to make some focused decisions, educationally at least, before they have had the chance to really explore who they are and the options there are in the world of work!
The one thing that I have always stressed with my daughters is that compulsory education is a great “jumping off point” and we can utilise it, but it’s not the ONLY way or only time you can learn.
That could look like learning together to develop your financial education, encourage independent learning that doesn’t need to be “rubber-stamped” with a certificate, or doesn’t exist formally within the education sector, and where you can, share role models of people who are following unconventional career paths.
Depending on the age and stage of your children or young people, some or all these steps will be relevant right now. would be useful. Hopefully, with some of these approaches, you can help your teens without overwhelming them or taking over!
So, if reflecting on this has led you to wanting more for YOUR career, then maybe it’s time to get yourself a career to enjoy, not endure? Book a call here to find out more about my 1:1 career coaching support.
If you liked this topic, you may enjoy these articles too:
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*Here is the video version if you would prefer to watch and listen!
Clara Wilcox is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
