I recently tried to drop of my kids at school an hour early. AN HOUR! All because of a self-limiting belief I have.
Let me explain.
I AM ALWAYS RUNNING LATE. This is a mantra that I have running through my mind.
I AM NEVER ON TIME. The minutes are always ticking down in my head. I like to think it is because I am an eternal optimist; always thinking I can get more done in the time that I have.
This particular morning I leapt out of bed, checked the clock: Quarter Past.
“Great, running late again”.
Queue, “Shouty Mum”. “Get Dressed kids; No, you don’t have time to finish your breakfast” “Quicker, faster!
In the car (defrosted with the kettle): off to school.
The roads are very quiet: The clock says 7:40.We arrive and the School gates are locked.
Even then, I had to check with someone else what the time was. 7:55!!!!
How in the world did this happen? My tunnel vision. My expectation that it was 8:15 when I got up (if you haven’t already guessed, it was 7:15). There was no point paying attention to the FOUR clocks in the house, as I KNEW I was late.
Even the clock in the car must be wrong; as I AM ALWAYS LATE.
Does this sound familiar? Do you refuse to take a moment and observe what is round you as you KNOW what you are like? That you cannot change?
Whilst this story has significant comedy legs, it has also given me a harsh reality check. I went into autopilot. My internal expectation that my behaviour doesn’t change, my low expectation of my time keeping meant that everything else around me was ignored.
Your “lateness issue” may be assumed lack of confidence, money management or assertiveness; next time you go into automatic around these beliefs, follow these tips (I know I will!)
1. Check Reality
What is actually going on around you? What you can see, feel or hear. Not just what you are expecting to happen. If only I had looked at the clock properly, I would have seen that I would have had a time for a relaxing, leisurely breakfast with the family.
2. Gain Evidence
Ask others for feedback and evidence of how you are something. Our memory has a frustrating default setting of remembering negativity. For me, all the times I am late. The times I am EARLY magically disappear. Then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy! This evidence can be generated from friends, family or your environment.
3. Reflect and Flip!
Whenever you come across those little negative gremlins that present to you as facts of, consider all the times you did do demonstrate the skills or behaviours you want? I may cut things fine, but it isn’t that frequent where I am actually late for things.
What else could you current experience mean to you? For example, those nerves that you feel before a new situation doesn’t mean you aren’t a confident person, it means it matters to you and you are ready to “perform” to the best of your ability.
How could you apply this to those beliefs that you feel are holding you back? Would love to hear how the three point strategy works for you.

Clara Wilcox is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
