I am now nine months into my journey with The Balance Collective as my sole work focus. I always considered myself an everlasting employee, climbing the career ladder within organisations with a not-for-profit mission. The idea of The Balance Collective came when I was working, part-time. It was never an exit plan; I had to overcome so much self-doubt, I surprised myself!
The catalyst for my self-employment, like many others, was redundancy. However, what this process offered me was a choice. I appreciate that everyone’s experience in this massive change was unique, for me, the thought of staying and not taking the chance on the business was scarier than staying as part of a re-deployment process. This is coming from the woman who craves financial security. The proof of how the mind is not fixed and can change!
It wasn’t an overnight process; The Balance Collective was firmly in pre-set up phase when the news of the redundancy hit. But it meant that I had control. I was excited about the potential.
I used to think numbers were not my friends!
The processes I have undergone, centred on coaching, have opened me up to a world of self-reflection and awareness that I never knew existed before. Some of these are exciting revelations, and other have left me feeling temporarily vulnerable and flummoxed!
My values are deep set in security; for me financial security. This is an interesting value to have when you are taking the leap into the financially unstable world of self-employment! What has made this process more challenging and (at times) painful, is the long standing belief that I am “no good with numbers”.
Going through a coaching process has helped me pick apart this self-limiting belief and how it has held me back taking leaps of faith in the past. School-aged criticism about my maths ability.
I am carrying round the burden of nearly THIRTY years worth of evidence that is no longer true or relevant.
But that nagging doubt crops up occasionally. You aren’t good enough with numbers, you will get something wrong, you will make mistakes and plunge your family into debt … and so on!
How did I over one this? Simply by using a table.
That’s got your attention, hasn’t it!
How a table can help
Imagine that a negative you hold about yourself is a table top.
Each piece of evidence to support that view is a leg.
The table can be held firm with as little as three legs.
Three, potentially false, out of date or irrelevant pieces of information that support a belief that stops you pursuing your ideal career, business or lifestyle.
Ask yourself, for each leg of “evidence” that supports your negative self-belief:
Is it true?
Is it recent?
Is it relevant?
Once you start realising that these legs or pieces of evidence aren’t true, recent or relevant, they are quickly removed from your table.
This “solid” table rapidly becomes weaker and eventually collapses; as does your negative belief.
What happens if you change your belief? A positive table.
What if the table top represents the opposite? So, for me, it now becomes “I am confident with numbers”
What list of evidence can you generate now? What experiences have you had recently? What have others said to you?
THIS table can also be held firm with as little as three legs.
I work through this process whenever I hear that self-destructive voice in my head. If I am feeling creative, I will draw a table. If it strikes when I am not by a pen and paper, then a simple list in my head does the job!
Give it a go – I would love to hear how the table helps you; feel free to share how it has helped you in The Balance Collective group or on the Facebook page.
I’m a return to work, career, confidence and life-balance coach for parents. Find out how I help parents just like you.
Take Care of The Business Of You: Created by Parents for Parents
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Clara Wilcox is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
