Are you paying attention to what you are consuming? No, not food – but information? We are now in an age where our “village” Is often digital. We reach out, often to strangers, to find information, reassurance and connection. More often than not, these groups and communities offer reassurance, connection, and hope; they provide us with ideas and inspiration. But sometimes, they aren’t adding any value to our lives at all. This is why you need to clean up your social media feed.

I’ve experienced parenthood pre-smartphone. In 2006, when I had my eldest, I didn’t even have an internet connection at home! I would dip into online baby groups during my lunch hour at work, but it was limited exposure. My time (and money) would go into mother and baby magazines, where I would read the advice and gain insight in bite-sized chunks. However, with my youngest, who I had in 2012, I went full-blown into the world online parenting. The experience was different, some of it was better, I won’t lie, but I often found my head spinning with all the different options, opinions and strategies! If you don’t pay attention, you can end up being dragged down a digital black hole that can mess with your self-confidence and expectations.

 

 

 

This issue of comparing ourselves with a digital version of other people comes up a lot with my coaching. Parents, quite rightly so, are reaching out to connect with people that are on the same path as them; but there are times that the information they see does more harm than good.  I hear things like “I should be doing more”, “ My life doesn’t look like theirs” or, the troubling “I think I’m not a good enough parent when I look at them”.

These aren’t just my observations, research is starting to uncover the negative impact of social media; it has been shown that online information can even fuel anxiety and depression in parents. A survey, released in late 2018, by the Priory Group, has uncovered some worrying statistics:

1. 22% felt that images on places like Instagram, Facebook and Blogs made them feel inadequate
2. 23% felt these images made them feel depressed
3. 36% felt that baby bloggers and “Instamums” were contributing to the rise of depression
4. Nearly 40% felt that these idealised images of parenting fuels anxiety in new parents

 

It’s time to clean up your social media feed.

 

 

 

 

So, if the time you are spending on certain feeds leaves you feeling like you aren’t good enough, that you “should” have more, do more or be more; it appears it’s not just you!
This comparisonitis is a series issue; it can spread across all areas of your life. From your career, body image, personal value, and health. It can lead you to spend so much time wanting to change, that you don’t appreciate the realities of the life and opportunities you have.

So, today, I want you to start with something quite simple.

I want you to pick up your phone (or launch your browser) and start paying attention to your social media diet. What you are consuming that is the equivalent of poor nutrition? What are watching and listening to that is like empty calories or an allergen?

You have to consider what is bringing value and health into your life. What helps with your wellbeing? Some things you see and read will be aspirational; it will give you the drive to create positive change in your life.

But, if all you feel afterwards is negative, or even worse, mentally unhealthy, it’s time to unfollow and block!

We all know from our personal profiles that edited highlights tend to make their way out into the world. Remember all is not what it seems; people edit their lives, both literally and metaphorically!  But I’m sure we all know, deep down, that what we see isn’t always reality! So, why are you comparing yourself and your family to other people’s edited content?

One really important point. If you are partial to following those in the public eye, you may also be comparing yourself to adverts. What turns up on your feed or your grid, that feel like glimpses into their lives or behind the scenes snaps, are actually curated and created posts to build their brand, their following, or even promotions.  If you see any of the following hashtags  #Ad , #gifted , #sponsored #sp #collab, #Paidpost on a post, it means that money, products or services have changed hands! It’s the equivalent of seeing a magazine advertisement!

So, today I want you to unfollow ANYTHING and EVERYONE that makes you feel less than. That makes you doubt your abilities as a parent, criticise your decisions or doesn’t bring genuine entertainment into your life. Make sure that your social media diet is healthy and inspiring; pay attention to what you consume the same way you pay attention to what you eat. It all adds up to having a healthier, fulfilled and positive life.

Let’s help each other by sharing far and wide the profiles that inspire or bring joy into your life! It doesn’t matter what the subject is, let’s clean up our social media channels.

Find more blogs like this on www.thebalancecollective.co.uk/blog

Clara Wilcox is a straight-talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance. Isn’t it time you had a career to enjoy, not endure? Talk to me NOW about how I can help.