Does anyone else get a little reflective around their birthday? Another year has passed, covering four seasons, milestones and potentially a whole academic year. I find that I do tend to have a non-judgemental think about what has happened over the previous 12 months and a little nostalgic about birthdays gone by. This year, my birthday has tipped me into a new age group and has got me thinking more about how I am living my life, for now and the future. Please tolerate my self-indulgence, but this week, I wanted to share my birthday work-life balance reflections.
When this blog publishes, I will have spent my first 24-hours in my Forties. The age that, in the past, I assumed would make me an official adult. Like many teenagers, I was desperate to grow up. To have true independence, control over my destiny, my money and my choices. Once I entered the world of work, I assumed that 40 was the age where you would be taken seriously; you would have a range of experience in your back pocket that would give you credibility, confidence and a sense of personal calm. At 40, you wouldn’t ever feel anxious, or nervous, or have any self-doubt.
Oh, I do laugh at my earlier self!
It’s funny how you make all these assumptions about your life; all based on a date in the diary. In reality, I don’t feel significantly difference than I did in my 20’s – the core of who I am is the same, just a little more experienced and slightly more tired (thanks kids!)
As I sit and write, I can admit that my teenage self wasn’t totally off the mark. There has definitely been a change in me based on age, but it wasn’t just the time passing alone that made the difference. It’s been the experiences I have had, the people I have met, the risks I have taken and the fun I have had. To be honest, the change in mindset around work-life balance and what I wanted out of life started way before 2019 crept up!
Considering all of these, there are elements that I will work consciously on to maintain in my life, and to change going forward.
- Wanting money isn’t greedy
As you may have read in previous blogs, I have worked REALLY hard over the past two decades to change the way I think about money. Whilst I will never be materialistically driven, I can see how money can help me build a life I want. One with travel, experiences, fun and charity.
- Success is personal
I come from a generation that was told we can have it all. The top job, designer clothes, kids and a massive house. However, what isn’t discussed is how we have to shift and change our priorities around what provides a healthy life. As I get older, I am much surer about what I WANT, and not what others think I should have. Being in control of what that looks like makes decisions so much easier.
- Social Media isn’t the devil
I have a love hate relationship with my smartphone. It helps me keep in contact with friends and family across the globe, connects me with my business, educates and entertains me. But I often get dragged into mindless scrolling. I am aware of the science behind the addictive potential and grimace when I see my two girls getting dragged into screen time. BUT I need to lead by example and accept that digital will be an essential part of their careers and life going forward!
- It’s never too late to try
I had my final child the year I turned 33, after losing two and thinking that I couldn’t do it again. I started my business the year I turned 36, walking away from a “sensible” and comparatively financially stable job. I published my first book at 39 years, giving the profit to the charity that supported us through those losses. Either way, it seems like my 30’s was the decade that I took a few more personal and professional risks; these risks have created a life that brings me joy, challenge and creativity. These are the success measures that show me I have a work-life balance that works!
Who knows what will happen in my life over the next 40 years; I can guarantee I’ll carry on making sure I have the life that I WANT which works for my family. So, I encourage you today to have a think about how your life has changed over the years and to consider what you have learned from your experiences. How are you making tweaks to your life and adjusting your behaviours and thoughts to have the life you deserve?
Come over to the Facebook Group, Creating Careers to Enjoy, and share your birthday reflections!
Clara Wilcox is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
