What advice would you give your younger self?

If I could wave my magic coaching wand, I’d like to be able to create a time travel machine. One that can reassure my clients that the decisions and choices they make now will work out in the future; I think it would be quite useful to me, too. Or just an ever-present reassuring mentor, to remind us that “this soon will pass”. However, until that happens, there is another way I can bend time. By reminding us of all that we have, we have a community travelling in time for us! Today, let me share some advice created from two questions:  “What advice would you give your younger self?” and “What advice would you give another mum?” The response is the core of this blog; I hope it helps you!

 

I’ve spoken before about how we can help our future selves, but reflecting and sharing our experiences can help those earlier in their parenting journey. In a world that often encourages us to share only our “highlight reels,” it’s easy to become withdrawn or to create unrealistic expectations of ourselves. So, in honour of the upcoming Mother’s Day in the UK, I thought I would reintroduce this question to the community – both personal and professional – and share their wisdom. There are many of you who have older children, some who are even adults now, whilst others are in the grips of newborn and toddler life. Either way, I hope the following will help you!

 

What advice would you give your younger self?

 

“There is no perfect way to parent; each child is unique, and each moment is a phase. Just do what feels right at that moment. And a hug is your best communication tool.”

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“When your child reaches out, ask if they want you to listen or help. Sometimes, especially with older kids, they just want to vent, not a solution”.  

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“Remember who you are beyond being a parent; what you find interesting, what makes you happy! As your children get older and need you less, you will want to remember what makes you, you! “

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“Work is not just about money (although it’s very important, especially when thinking long term, such as pension planning), it’s about confidence, socialising, challenge and skills. “

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“Lower your expectations. They just need your presence and love.”

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“You’ll find yourself again. It’s SO hard right now, you’re frazzled & everything’s done for others, but you WILL come back to yourself. Take breaks, don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first sometimes, you need it.”

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“Have faith, stick to your values the world will change in ways you couldn’t imagine, and you will be valued for your integrity.”

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“Try not to bow down to the norm and the society’s values of the day. Be more assertive and independent of your own thoughts and wishes. Try not to please and bend over backwards for other people to the detriment of yourself. Don’t be afraid to say NO especially if a relationship is toxic.”

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Hopefully, there is something within this virtual “time machine” that can help you right now. The biggest piece of advice that I would like to pass on is this. This is your first time parenting the child you have; as they grow and develop, so do you. Hearing that a while ago really helped me gain some perspective and reassurance. Maybe it will help you too? So, if you haven’t already, would you like to share the advice you’d give your younger self?

 

 

Thanks to:

Connection Counts , Nurture Community CIC, Brand Remarkable and Kathryn Mann Artist, and those who shared privately.

 

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