Why it’s OK to be scared of change (& what to do about it!)

I’ve been writing a lot about change recently. There is no doubt that it’s influenced by my clients. Many are at a major crossroads, returning to work, leaving a job, starting a role with a new organization or launching into self-employment. All have an element of risk as the outcome of this change is unpredictable. How each person responds to risk will be impacted by a variety of things, their personalities, their well-being, responsibilities, and the consequences of the outcome! What they do have in common is the desire to overcome that fear. Today, I want to explain why it’s OK to be scared and change, and what you can do about it!

As I have written about before, we are HARDWIRED to want predictability. It keeps us safe. The physical discomfort we feel when we have to predict the future or take a risk, is our nervous system saying “hold on”, we don’t like it here! It’s the internal monologue that criticizes our choices, often driven by our deep-seated fears (as an FYI, mine is social rejection!) 

One of the ways of looking at change, and reducing the fear it creates, is to consider it as problem-solving. The action of change is simply a tool to help you deal with the challenge of your career; whatever that may be. With that in mind, I want you to read the following lessons to help you reconsider the power you have when you problem-solve, and how you can be a little more creative!

I’m sharing lessons from six books, previously reviewed as part of my personal development book club. Consider how these lessons, applied in the context of change, could help reduce your fear and increase the possibilities! 

1. Being fearful doesn’t make you an insecure person …  (Idiot Brain)
   It just makes you human! From the discomfort of speaking in public to full-blow social anxieties or phobias, these emotions and behaviours are the brain’s reaction to the perceived harm caused by embarrassment. We are simply VERY evolved pack animals, and social acceptance is just as important to us now as it was when rejection meant being left alone to starve! We are programmed to want to be liked and loved.

 

2. The power of curiosity  (Creative Living Beyond Fear)
   So often, fear gets in the way of curiosity. To find new ways and test. We would much rather study; this validates our potential and often then gives us the “right” to do something. For Author Elizabeth Gilbert, her writing career stems from a promise that she made to herself as a teenager. A vow that she would write; come what may. Many of her creative peers have gone down the academic route. How often do we think a piece of paper validates our talent?
   Embrace your curiosity. Meet new people; read different books; have different experiences.

 

3. Nothing is original anymore (Hegarty on Creativity)
   Most ideas, however original, are inspired by something else. Be it film, music, art, processes or systems, consume as much information as possible and create something from it. Think of it as a recipe; you are simply remixing, upgrading or tweaking something else. Don’t get stuck in the belief that your ideas have to be one-off to be worthy. Check out the amazing TED Talk that proves this!

 

4. Take a bird’s eye view of that internal criticism. (Chatter)

It is suggested one way of reducing the way internal thoughts intrude, is to create what is known as “temporal distance”. Considering how you will feel about this moment, or thought, significantly in the future, can give you perspective and change what feels like a major issue into a minor event. For example, that deadline that you are losing sleep over? Imagine how you will feel about this in 5 years.

5. Don’t defer to the HIPPO (Rebel Ideas)

No, I’m not talking about the animal, I’m talking about the “highest-paid person’s opinion”. This may need a change in your hierarchical assumptions, and, for work, a significant cultural shift, but pay attention to “dominance dynamics”. The book shows, several times over, how NOT deferring to the HIPPO can improve safety, productivity and innovation. It’s interesting to observe that the fewer people feel in control, the more they are drawn toward hierarchies in their personal and professional life. A question for you to reflect on! Who are you waiting to give you permission?

6. Embrace that you WILL run out of time! (Four Thousand Weeks)

Written during lockdown and the pandemic, this book shares a different view of time and how to use it. When the world temporarily shut down, albeit for worrying reasons, it gave so many of us an insight into life at a different pace. A window into what life could be like if we were more present and the external pressures of life were reduced. With this in mind, the Appendix of the book includes “Ten Tools for Embracing Your Finitude”, some action-focused ideas to really engage with life:

• Decide in advance what you will fail at.
• Consolidate your caring.
• Practice doing nothing.

Regularly, creating the career you want means making a significant life change – and that is scary! This emotion is exaggerated when the world feels unstable, so you seek your security in the predictability of life. But what if you started trying new things; take a creative approach to solve the problem that is the career that doesn’t positively impact your well-being and answer your needs?  Working to YOUR version of success, within the areas that you can control, you may be surprised about where your next change could take you.

Come along to Creating Careers to Enjoy and let me know your thoughts!

If you are looking for some professional support to get you where you need to go, my career coaching packages have a combinator of self-development and recruitment consultancy that will guide you to your next role! Book a call to see how I can help you.