How to make confident decisions

Since my children started school, my year aligns with the school diary. My new year starts in September and the end of July marks the transition into a new stage. Often, the six-week summer period represents a clean slate and the time that decisions will need to be made. What stays, what goes, what do we need to add in? As my children grow older, these annual transitions still exist. This year marks a move to “big school” and ongoing considerations of university options! I am lucky that my work allows me to take the headspace of the summer. I want to make sure I can take the time to reflect; both on what I need, and what my family and business need too. Today, I want to discuss how to make confident decisions.

As our responsibilities change, so do the effects of our choices. Who they impact, and how they play out, means that the weight of making the “right decision” is heavy. Our individual preferences around HOW we make decisions alter based on our personality preferences,  as well as the external pressures we are under and our support networks. It does not matter if the questions you are trying to answer are professional or personal, understanding the process of decision-making can help you feel more in control, and consequentially, more confident.

Today, I want to re-share with you some thoughts about taking a coaching approach for decision-making, in the hope that you can add this to the resources you will draw on when you are at your next crossroads.

Four ways to make more confident decisions.

1. Change is hard!

We only know in retrospect the outcome of a decision; therefore, any final choice includes fear of the unknown. That can make us feel anxious – or excited – dependent on the risk and the return, as well as who is involved, and the cost attached. Getting more comfortable about the reality of this feeling and naming it, can help you move forward in the decision-making process. Understanding that change is hard is the first step in neutralising its impact. You can practise strengthening your risk response, by making smaller decisions and witnessing what happens: your emotional response, and how the discomfort changes as time progresses. 

2. You need time to decide.

There is a lot of data, feelings, opinions, and options to take into consideration when we are making decisions. Even people that appear to be decisive, making “quick” judgement calls, have often spent time pondering. The greatest lesson I have learned is the need to make time to think; to explore and consider. Alongside this, is the idea that you need to problem-solve, constructively. Often, if a decision is creating anxiety about the outcome, there are negative emotional associations with the process. This anxiety naturally makes it harder to make decisions, due to the “flight: fight: freeze” response created when we are under stress. So being more conscious about this, and carving out time to think, can ease the often-troublesome process of decision-making.

3. Recognising decision fatigue.

Sometimes, the issue is not the lack of options for a decision, it’s the wealth of potential! There are occasions where the “right path” jumps out – it’s an easy decision. But when there are several avenues to pursue, you can end up with decision fatigue. This has been explored further in this blog, and I wonder if this is where you find yourself right now. I wonder if asking yourself, “What decision is good enough?” would help break that internal stalemate.

4. Understand that you need support.

If you struggle with decisions and don’t trust your instincts or process, you can draw on other decision-making and problem-solving structures to find an answer you are more comfortable with. It may be a trial and error on which tools you use, and you may find that different tools are better for different problems. This is something I have covered before, so here are a few tried and tested approaches that could work:

What is the priority?
Which variables to consider?
How to consider all elements!
How to make a personal decision.
How to diversify your thinking
How to generate new options when you are stuck
How to test your beliefs
How to create some emotional distance.

This was a quick overview of four key principles that can help move your forward with your decision-making confidence. Coaching itself helps decision-making (one of the models I use, GROW, is a wonderful way of unravelling all the available options.) There is no one size fits all approach or tool for decision-making – the usefulness and impact of the techniques vary based on the personal preferences of the person, the available information, the people that are supporting them and the consequences of the decision itself.
The number one lesson I have learned is understanding, and then reframing, the emotions that decision-making creates. Nothing is guaranteed – but by listening to what we are uncertain of, and then considering what we can do to find the best outcome for the situation we are in, we can move towards taking the next step into the next chapter in our personal and professional lives. Finally, remember that NOT deciding, is still a decision!

What are the best decision-making tools or approaches that you use? Come over to Creating Careers to Enjoy and share!