This month’s AMA is answering the question I’ve been asked since I announced I was trying the “100 rejections challenge”. Simply, how does that work? On the 14th January 2026, I declared publicly that I was giving it a go. In case you missed that post, I’ll share it for you now:

“I’ve set myself a little challenge for 2026. To be rejected 100 times. That is an average of 8.33333333 a month, or twice a week. The one thing I know about myself is that I have a MASSIVE fear of failure and rejection (Thank you DISC Profile!). So, to others it may seem like I take risks, but I actually work quite hard to keep myself safe, well within my tolerance for stress! But, how would it feel to flip the perspective and make the rejection the success? Taking a risk on something that feels like a stretch, and if they say no, I get to tick off a new experience. But, just imagine if they say yes! Whilst this concept started in 2016, shared by Kim Liao, as a prompt for writers, it’s expanded over the years, and I’ve loved seeing how other people have interpreted it in the past. Now it’s my turn.”

As you can imagine, it’s generated some interesting conversations; people asking why, and how I will be rolling out my version this year. So, I’m going to share the why I’m doing this challenge, and how I plan to do it across both my personal and professional life. For those of you who are interested, maybe it will give you the insight to join in?

I’ve always known that I’m competitive. However, the brakes are put on by my fears of rejection and failure. It creates an interesting push-pull motivation, which shows up in many areas of my life. However, I wondered over the last festive period, what would it look like if I “gamified” my competitiveness for some personal & business development?

The idea of 100 rejections first crossed my path in 2015. I saw a great TEDx Talk from Jia Jing, who shared what they had learned from 100 days of rejection. It planted an idea that has itching to be scratched for a while. An article from 2016 by Kim Liao, which shared their aim of 100 rejections for writing submissions, really showed the power of wanting to fail; getting 100 rejections can lead to surprising acceptances!

It’s popped up in podcasts I’ve listened to, and books I’ve reviewed; the idea that you can “fail successfully”.  Initially, it was linked to the idea of “sunk cost fallacy”; that many of us hang on to ideas, careers, relationships, even stuff, due to the emotional, time and financial investment we have.  It’s a topic that I often cover in sessions with clients and is perfectly summed up in this quote by Steven D. Levitt (co-author of Freakonomics)

When failure is demonized, people will try to avoid it at all costs—even when it represents nothing more than a temporary setback.”

However, the idea of not only being willing to fail, but to actively seek out scenarios where it’s more likely to happen, was a new one for me! And I was intrigued. A new approach: rewarding the journey, not the outcome; acting and then getting an answer is the success. As a Coach, there can be the assumption that you have “everything sorted”. The reality is, I’m a work in progress! I’d be a hypocrite if I expected my clients to push past their comfort zones when I’m not prepared to do the same.

Like everything that I do, I always like to understand the “Why”, so I’ve done some light digging into the science behind “Rejection Therapy”. The general consensus is that it’s more of a self-help tool; there isn’t much peer-reviewed literature. Grounded in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT – a technique that has many critics!), the idea is that failure primes the brain for learning.  Approaching new environments, people, and places that make us feel uncomfortable moves us out of our comfort zone. The more we do it, and handle the emotional repercussions, the more we are able to do. The Journal of Positive Psychology includes a study from 2022 that shows being encouraged to do things “outside of their comfort zone” can improve feelings of wellbeing. Or, as the researchers Russo-Netzer & Cohen put it  ‘If you’re uncomfortable, go outside your comfort zone’: A novel behavioral ‘stretch’ intervention supports the well-being of unhappy people.”

My strategy for the one hundred rejections challenge.

As I begin the challenge (at the time of writing, I am a week in), the areas of rejection are predominately business related. This is where I feel my fear of rejection the greatest, and where it holds me back the most.

I am finding things that I tend to avoid that intimidate me. It could be a company I would LOVE to work with, a podcast I want to be on, or an approach to a publisher to review books. I’ve identified them in a couple of ways.

The easiest way to start my list is with the things I have had on my to-do list, or my list with my coach, for a while. You know, the things you always have an excuse not to do.

The second is through self-reflection and a bit of self-coaching. What are the things I would want to do, have, be, or see, if I knew I could be successful? (Clients will recognise that question!)

The key is that there are all the things I want, and things I know that I have the skills to do. But the things I have avoided are due to the potential sting of rejection.

The biggest shift is reframing what success is in this situation. That, for this year, success is to get a response. Sometimes that will be a yes, sometimes a maybe, or not yet. And, if it happens to be a no, then I have hit the jackpot! A rejection that gets me closer to my 100!

As part of my reflection, I’ve looked back at my early career and sales training. In my twenties, my jobs were VERY sales-driven. We were targeted on activity as well as closing; there was a ratio of action we needed to take to get the YES. And every rejection meant closure and feedback. Having this perspective reduces the inclination for perfectionism. It was about time I bought it back.

I’m starting slowly; building a list of people, places, outcomes that feel VERY scary, and starting with the ones that feel like a gentler rejection to strengthen the “acceptance muscle.”

The key when working on this is to aim for things that will add value to your life. It’s not about reaching for things that you actually don’t want to do (because, whilst you are aiming for a NO, as I have found already, for a lot of things, the YES happens too). And when the YES happens, you need to follow through!

I already have a wonderful spreadsheet called “My 100 Rejections”, colour-coded, of course, and I’m looking forward to sharing my progress over the year. Watch this space!

So, there you have it. The WHY behind aiming for 100 rejections, and a little insight into how I will make it work for me.

Is this something you will be joining in on, or have you already made it part of your life? I’d love to know.

I’m Clara Wilcox, a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.

Isn’t it time to have career to enjoy not endure?