Despite the title, a career coach doesn’t just support you in your work. It’s about your life and how your job fits into that. Well, at least, that is how THIS career and return to work coach works! So, when I think about personal development books to support my coaching and my clients, I try to look at everything APART from work. I go very light on productivity hacks and heavy on holistic wellbeing. This month, I’m here to review Dr Alexis Willett’s “Calmism: 8 habits for complete rest”. I’m here to share the ways that calmism creates rest!

If I were to hedge a bet, I’d say that your nervous system is feeling a little frazzled. As the book’s blurb shares, you may feel like “life is getting on top of you.”  You may even be “dreaming of being stranded on an island just for some alone time?” If that sounds like you, then you may want to carry on reading. Dr Willett is a health science writer who is particularly adept at translating some heavy science into accessible books. Calmism is her fifth book (I already have the others added to my to-read list).

This is an interesting take on rest; Dr Willett shares eight different types (the seven already discussed previously in this blog) plus nutrition, an often overlooked but essential driver of our health and wellbeing. Throughout the book, we are reassured about the impact of these techniques through research, but there is also a “panel” of testers who give an honest take on how useful and practical certain suggestions are. This is what many other books on this topic lack, and what Calmism provides in each chapter: a realistic understanding of what can be added to an already busy life.

So, in true Clara Cliff Notes fashion, here are five ways that Calmism creates rest.

 

1. Start by recognising what exhaustion feels like

Have you ever heard the boiling frog analogy? If you put a frog straight into hot water, it will leap out. But, if it goes into tepid and the temperature slowly rises, then you don’t notice till it’s too late. A grim way of explaining it, but I think it works! In Calmism, the first chapter stresses the importance of recognising that exhaustion happens slowly. The exhaustion funnel (as mentioned in Williams and Penman’s book “Mindfulness”) shows that what we feel and focus on, what is important, narrows to a point that we give up all that nourishes us. Recognise this? The rest of the book shares how we reconnect to help our place rest back up the list!

 

2. The importance of the addition of nutritional rest

The main seven types of rest are mental, emotional, physical, sensory, creative, social and spiritual (proposed by Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith), and nutritional is added to make the 8^th.  There are some expected tips, including minimising “stimulating foods” such as caffeine (which usually has a 10–12-hour life span in the system). However, the overview of the importance of gut health and its impact on our wellbeing as the “second brain” is fascinating. Our brain uses 20% of our body’s energy to function, so we need to make sure that we are fuelling ourselves well. But we are reminded that one of our key neurotransmitters, serotonin, which regulates both mood and sleep, is influenced by our microbes. So, what does that mean in practise? Plenty of carbs for energy, fibre for gut health and water to provide the nutrition we need. If the body doesn’t have to work too hard just to function, our energy can go elsewhere!

 

3. Meditation isn’t suitable for all

Often, the first thing we notice when we are exhausted is our ability to think and focus. We struggle to make decisions, organise, and even relax enough to sleep. In these circumstances, meditation (A type of “passive rest”) is frequently hailed as a must-do! Whilst it has phenomenal benefits (as the book shares, it’s linked to improved stress management, emotional regulation and attention), it doesn’t work for all! Dr Willett talks about a long-reported side effect called “Zen Sickness”, such as dizziness or anxiety. So, if you have tried it and it makes you feel worse, you aren’t alone! However, we can be mindful in our lives, which is just as beneficial; from a few minutes of deep breathing to mindfully eating, it’s something we can all add to our lives.

 

 

4. Rest is more than just when you are sleeping

Healthy sleep takes up to 1/3 of our lives, and recent research is highlighting its importance. It restores our tissue, immune function, and embeds memories. Sleep loss has been linked to impacting over 700 of our genes! So, when experts talk about the importance of sleep, both quality and quantity, we need to listen!

Modern living can impact sleep, including light pollution (which is more than just phones, but streetlights too), which can shift our circadian rhythms. I was interested to learn that we also have ultradian rhythms, which are 90-120-minute cycles of energy shifts over a 24-hour period, where we experience changes in our energy and focus levels. So, matching your day (as much as you can) to your daily rhythms can help with rest.

So, what can you do if you can’t sleep? Dr Willett suggests daily stretching, regular physical exercise, reducing stimulants, including food before bed, improving your posture (to support better breathing) and (my favourite) regular daydreaming!

This type of “waking rest” gives time for us to process what is happening during the day, where the mind can roam with no effort. Try it and see how you feel afterwards!

 

5. How important sound is for rest

When we think about sensory rest, how often do we consider sound? It can be a relaxing tool or a trigger for discomfort. Seeing that one of the purposes of hearing is to alert us to the world around us, it’s no surprise that it’s connected to our emotions. It’s explained how noise is connected to the amygdala, the part of our brain which is the centre of both our stress and emotions. It’s why unwanted or persistent noise (think noisy neighbours or crying babies!) can make us feel so overwhelmed. We are told that it can trigger our nervous system as a threat, OR, with noises that are relaxing, calm us. What is most interesting is that the research has found there are neurons in the brain that react to different types of sounds, from singing to speech to music.

So, think about how you react to certain sounds and bring more into your life that feel like a mini-break!

 

Calmism can be simple. It advocates for three things: helping yourself, helping others and allowing yourself to be helped. Keeping these three tenets in mind is a great start. We don’t need to overcomplicate or “buy” our way into rest. Enjoy the journey; it’s a lifestyle change, for whatever stage you are at right now. Like other books, it encourages you to tap back into the expert, and that expert is you! Have you read Calmism? I’d love to know your thoughts.

 

 

If you enjoyed this, you may also want to read these other reviews and blogs:

 

 

Book Review: A Mindfulness Guide for the Frazzled by Rudy Wax

Book Review: Happiness by Design by Paul Dolan

Book Review: The Pocket of Deep Sleep: Maximise your most restorative sleep cycle

Book Review: Messy (How to be creative and resilient in a tidy-minded world) by Tim Hatford

How to manage your sensory overload as a parent

 

 

 

If you are ready to work with a doubly qualified careers coach with over two decades of experience, then it’s time we talk! I support those returning to work after maternity, paternity or any other break, parents seeking a new role or promotion, and people looking to craft a better balance. Book a call to find out how I can help you create a career to enjoy, not endure.

 

 

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Thank you to the publishers (Gemini Books) for my copy of the book