2020 has been hard. It has tested our resilience and relationships and created a way of living that, for many, we would never have imagined. What we expected from our careers and lives over this year has not materialized, yet there are lots of ways this difficult period has opened our eyes to new ways of working, communicating, and living. Many of us are turning to thoughts of 2021 with hope; filled with the potential of finding a life that is a tad more predictable than it is right now. So, how do we set gentle goals after a year in survival mode?
If you are a newcomer to this blog, you may be surprised that, as a Coach, I have a flexible approach to goal setting. Whilst I know how important it is to have plans in place, being able to appreciate progress and notice when you have achieved something, is the key to motivation! However, goal setting has, for far too long, been a stick to beat ourselves up with. A way to create a hierarchy of success! Over the past five years, utilizing my training and absorbing all the wonderful studies and books that are out there, I have begun to create a version of goal setting that helps people create a career to enjoy not endure.
So many of us have found pleasure in the little things, we have learned to make do with what we have, to make things last, and to adjust when circumstances are way beyond our control. As I have shared with many, my personal and professional goals haven’t been hit this year. Just before lockdown, I announced that Friday’s were to be my writing day for book number two. So far, I have written …… 0 words. Nothing. Zip. What I HAVE achieved, however, during this time, is something I am proud of!
As the diary tips to 2021, it is not unusual to think of what we want, need and deserve for the next year, but for many, we are exhausted. I know that I, as well as many of my friends, family and clients are “running on fumes”. So, with this in mind, please consider my heartfelt advice for gentle goal setting after a year in survival mode:
Set goals when you are ready
Whilst we have a culture of drawing a line under a year and starting with a fresh set of goals, the 1st t Jan 2021 may feel too soon. So wait! I have already moved my 2021 planning day to my return in 2021. This gives me a few weeks over December, where I am not worried about balancing school closures with work, and some uninterrupted time with the family, to re-energize me.
If you are looking for a way to set gentle goals at ANY time of the year. Then you need to read this blog.
Be gentle about your progress
What you want out of life and your career often changes, even when you aren’t living through a pandemic! So, if you are sat right now looking at your “to-do, have and be” list for 2020, don’t beat yourself up by what you haven’t achieved. First, consider what you have accomplished, despite what has been going on. And, as I have reminded many of my clients, maintaining things is a massive achievement. You may want to look into this further, in my blog from December 2019 titled “What happens when you don’t reach your goals”.
Remember, comparison is the thief of joy
My screen time on social media has gone THROUGH THE ROOF this year. It’s been a great way to keep up to date with friends (Facetime Night’s-In) and what is going on with the world, but It’s also triggered my natural inclination to compare! Yes, we are all social beings, and it’s so easy to look at what everyone is sharing and assume that they have achieved more than you. At any given time, our social brain is tracking, assessing, and comparing against others. But before you berate yourself for not taking the opportunity to learn a new language, create a pallet-based feature in the garden or carve out a new fitness regime, remember that we only ever experience the edited highlights! If you haven’t already, then I highly recommend you spend some time understanding comparison and what actually matters to you! The Comparison Cure by Lucy Sheridan was a massive eye-opener for me!
Consider simplifying your life in 2021
Finally, learn from the life we have had forced on us this year. The way that, for so many of us, we have had to slow down and work with what we have. The responses to the pandemic have impacted people in a variety of ways and it’s been heartening to see communities pull together to support each other; from food parcels for the vulnerable to phone buddies for the isolated, we have seen how connection really is the one thing we actually need when things hit the fan. So, with all this in mind, do your goals need to be about growth? How would it feel to strip things back? Not sure how to do this? Then make sure you check out “how to simplify your goals setting”.
Hopefully, these four points will help you think differently about 2020, and start off 2021 with a sense of hope and control. Gentle goal setting doesn’t need to be after a year like this one, but it’s a great place to start! Join me in Creating Careers to Enjoy and share your thoughts on gentle goal setting.
Want to see how I can help you create a career to enjoy? Book some time to talk here.
Clara Wilcox is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
