At the time of writing, I have reviewed six web pages full of books. Some are recommended regularly, others are there to reach my annual Goodreads target. Whilst reading fiction is a wonderful way to escape, the personal development books I choose are there to help you (and me!) create a career to enjoy. It can be easy to let those “lessons learned” disappear once the book is closed. So today, I wanted to share with you some of the standout lessons learned, so that you can implement them in your life to help you feel more balanced. Or, in other words, five balance lessons to live by.
Free time only counts when we can share it in Four Thousand Weeks
In the chapter entitled “The Loneliness of the Digital Nomad” Burkeman highlights the interesting research uncovering the issues we have when people can’t coordinate diaries. I am sure we have all been there; messenger tennis to find a time slot where you and your friends or family can meet up. You may have all the “free time” in the world, but it only matters when you can share that time with the people or activities that actually matter to you. This knowledge can help you review what your working week can look like!
From Four Thousand weeks
Define your boundaries, not your child’s in The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read
This was my bigger lightbulb moment, and since I have started using this approach I have noticed a real difference in our family dynamics, especially with our youngest. So often we tell our children “they” need to do something; they need to stop watching TV, they need to eat their carrots, they need to go to bed. We present this in the context of rules or that this is for their benefit. Let’s be clear, the child (regardless of their age) doesn’t see it that way, and so often it’s a rule that an adult has created. Instead, Perry suggests, when parents own the boundary, which is grounded in feelings and we have calmer conversations. At times this may include working together to create a solution. This is also a useful example to use with anyone; like my “I don’t work on Fridays”.
From The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read
Productivity isn’t always activity in Struggle
I LOVE this quote from page 108 “productivity is knowing when to work and when to let the work breathe.” We have all been primed to think we need to be in motion, always producing something tangible. Sometimes our best work or ideas are created when we step away from work and place our attention elsewhere. We have all been there, pushing through low energy, stress, or distraction; sometimes the best way to be productive is to STOP! We can be our most creative when we are bored.
Rest is essential in Burnout
In a world where it is all about personal development, it can be easy to use that drive to create an environment of toxic perfectionism, overwork (combined with negative cultural, long-standing thoughts around sleep and rest) lack of connection and comparison. An ongoing theme throughout this book is one of self-compassion as a strength; to set boundaries, understand the importance of rest for productivity and that the world we are born into impacts how we view our potential and each other. Chapter 7 (What Makes You Stronger) reinforces the power of rest (both active and passive) and includes the bombshell that science highlights that the “adequate amount of rest is 42%” of your day. That probably jars (are you shouting, “I don’t have the time?” Well, as the book declares “if you don’t take the 42%, the 42% will take you”. Prioritising rest is a massive part of resilience and wellbeing. What percentage of your day is rest?
From Burnout
Sleep and Dreams are medicine in Why We Sleep
Sleep research has found that there are two stages of sleep: NREM and REM. One of the functions of sleep is to cleanse the brain. It rebalances our emotions, helps us learn, reduces our risk for certain diseases, helps us be more creative, innovative, productive and supports healthy relationships. Now, if I told you I could give you something for free to do this, wouldn’t you take it? So how are you prioritising your sleep?
From Why We Sleep
Have you read these books? I’d love to hear what lessons stood out for you, and how you have implemented them in your life and work. Come over to Creating Careers to Enjoy and share your thoughts.
Clara Wilcox is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
