Tamu Thomas’ Instagram account is a must-follow for all women. The qualified transformative coach, writer and somatic movement practitioner (amongst her other skills) shares some of the most thought-provoking work I have seen in a long time. I knew that her book would make a real difference; I didn’t expect how much! This month, I want to share my thoughts on Women Who Work Too Much: Break Free From Toxic Productivity and Find Your Joy by Tamu Thomas.*
“Women can have it all, but do we really want it”. This is a message that so many of my clients grapple with. It leads to burnout, overwhelm, and a personal and professional life that isn’t aligned with our values. Instead, we work against our nature and our needs for the benefit of others. After undergoing her own burnout journey, Tamu Thomas has taken her work, qualifications, insight and passion to create her business (Live Three Sixty) and her (I hope) first book. A book that needs to belong on the shelf of every woman. As the back page quote confirms, “Women Who Work Too Much is a defiant act of sisterhood that reminds women that we can undo that which functions to undo us”. Kelechi Okafor
The book shows us the possibility of a life that works against the systems that seek to control us: racism, misogyny, and capitalism. We are presented with an alternative that shows us how we can push against what society tells us is inevitable, while confronting the intersectional systems and structures that hold us back.
Don’t expect to pick up a book that is full of “how to do more …”. That is the first system we need to overcome. We aren’t designed to be consumption or production machines. Much of the book reminds us of our nature:
- educating us about our nervous systems and recognising our innate fight, flight, freeze or fawn.
- provides techniques to manage our instinctive responses to the threats that occur in modern living, both subtle and clear,
- reconnecting us with our values, desires and the power of connection.
Only once you can reconnect with who you are, does Tamu Thomas provide some boundaries and positive productivity tips that one would expect in a book of this title. The book empowers. It shines a light and enables you to strip away the toxicity of a society that wants us to be obedient numbers in a production line.
It is an intentionally uncomfortable book, peeling away the expectations of others, and internal biases and understanding the reasoning behind so many of our life experiences. It leads you, however, to find the language and the confidence to put yourself first. Once you finish the book, you have better emotional regulation to help you stand your ground, the insight to follow your joy in work and life, and the confidence to become a role model for the next generation of women.
This is another one of the books where I will actively choose not to share my Clara Cliff Notes. I want you to read it; consume it and apply what is needed for you.
Have you read Women Who Work Too Much? Head over to Careers to Enjoy to share your thoughts.
Before I log off, I want to share a powerful quote from the book; one that I think we all need to remember:
“You were not born to center your entire existence on work and labor. You were born to heal, to grow, to be of service to yourself and your community, to practise, to experiment, to create, to have space, to dream to connect.” Tricia Hersey, Rest is Resistance*
Did you enjoy this blog? Then check out these:
Why your rest needs to be radical.
Fix the System, not the women by Laura Bates
A reflection on finding your identity within motherhood
How to manage sensory overload as a parent
*This is an affiliate link. If you click and buy, I may get a small commission.
Clara Wilcox is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective is a social enterprise focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
